The Unspoken Days
by SynniWeirdo
Summary: After nearly three years of being by the young master's side, Sebastian can no longer hold his desires for the teen. His mind races, as he feels different emotions that he hadn't felt in centuries all at once. Young Ciel has no idea and goes through the day as usual. How long before things become unbearable? *SebCiel/LizzyCiel pairing {Yaoi in later chapters} : ) Gotta read to see*
1. A Day Outside

1:15pm; Aug. 16th

"Check mate," expresses Ciel Phantomhive, the 12-year-old head of the Phantomhive Estate and leader of the Funtom toy company. His foreshadowing smile lingers in the back of Finny's mind while passing some time before completing the rest of the household chores. Maintaining the yard and "staying out of trouble" was the only thing that was on the gardener's list today. Yet, as expected, it hadn't been done. "That was perfect, my lord," he says in shock, trying to understand how he executed a 6 step checkmate in under 10 minutes. "You need more practice," he says while checking his pocket watch, and ringing the bell to the kitchen. There lies Baldo, the estate "cook" and Sebastian Michaelis, the Phantomhive family butler. While Sebastian tried to make today's tea, Baldroy tried his hardest to show him that cooking the dinner meats with a flame thrower would keep the flavor, add smokiness, and cut down cooking time. "I'm telling you, Sebastian, it's the only way to do it," he saying, slamming his hands on the table, shaking it, "The way you do it is old-fashioned and slow." Sebastian stops mid stride of putting the last blueberry on the Earl's perfectly cooked, shape and decorated fruit tart. Baldo takes a deep swallow as Sebastian's eyes sharply pierce his skin and he moves closer. "You know what would better for dinner instead of duck, Baldroy?" Sebastian speaks slowly as he comes closer to him, "How about, a wild winged, self-destructive human being, seasoned with seasonings from the finest garden in all of London and fresh lemon zest, with baked potatoes and French wine?" Sebastian draws closer toward him, pinning him against the doorway. Baldo's hands begins to sweat and he tries to keep him ground. Though this was just a fun debate, he knew that if Sebastian truly wanted to, the Earl would enjoy _him _for dinner. "B-But, the oven isn't big enough…" Sebastian reaches out his hand, barely touching Baldroy's jacket and quietly whispers, "…what about the flame thrower?" He raises his hand as the sweat drips down Baldo's face, almost touching his chin and licking his lips. Suddenly, the bell rings. Sebastian smiles and rushes back to the dessert. He looks up to see that the head is calling from his study and checks his pocket watch. "Look what you've made me do," he exclaims, quickly finishing the tea arrangements and heading toward the door, "You've made me late from delivering the master's tea. When I get back, I want this kitchen spotless, WITHOUT the use of fire." Sebastian continues to the study while a conscious Baldo lays on the floor, trying to catch his breath.

1:22pm;

Sebastian finally arrives to a very impatient Ciel, waiting for his afternoon tea. "Excuse my lateness, my lord…" "What were you doing?" he asked, chucking the pawn chess piece to his head. In an instant, Sebastian moved his head, letting the piece fly out of the door. "My apologies, I engaged into a very childish debate," he explained, pushing the cart into the study. Finny, who had once again forgotten to complete his day's work, was cleaning up the chess board. "What are you doing here?" Sebastian asked, looking at him. "Uh… young master asked me to entertain him, so we…" "Get outside and get to work!" He demanded, not raising his voice, yet speaking with command in his eyes. Finny, in hast movement, hurried out of the door, tripping on the rug on the way out.

"You mustn't delay them from doing their duties, my lord," Sebastian said while closing the study door behind him. "Are you telling me what to do?" Ciel asked, sitting in his chair behind his desk. "Of course not, my lord," Sebastian replied, walking behind the chair, wrapping the napkin around his neck, "Merely a suggestion, that is all." "What do we have for today?" He asked. "For today's tea, we have a fruit tart, made with the milk and cream, covered in raspberries, blueberries and blackberries with an English black tea." He carefully placed his plate in front of him and began pouring his tea. "Are you sure I have nothing to do today?" Ciel asked, beginning to cut his dessert and eating a fork full. "Yes, sir," he replied, pouring the honey and milk into his tea, "No one scheduled for a meeting, no unplanned visits, Lady Elizabeth has a cold and you were ordered by her majesty herself to take the day off." "I'm not a baby who needs to be put down for a nap," he said wittingly while sipping his tea that Sebastian had sat in front of him. "My lord, your majesty the Queen heard about your asthma attack during the last case she sent you on," he implicated, "She is only doing it for your best interest." "I'm fine," Ciel snapped looking at his butler, "Why must people try to put pity on me? I am the Earl of Phantomhive and I should be treated as such! I can take care of my own!"

"Maybe after tea, we shall take a ride into London and look for some vegetables to go with dinner," Sebastian suggested. Ciel choked on his tea and looked up at his demon butler, with a confused look on his face. "Are you serious?" "You've never gone with me when I go to get ingredients," he explained as his young master took another sip of his tea, "Since your schedule is cleared and have some free time before completing the day's paperwork, a ride into town would be a wonderful thing to pass the time." Ciel finished his tea and wiped his face. Sebastian gently removed his napkin and cleaned after the young master, removing the eateries and continuing to clean up the chess set that Finny had left before hurrying off to finish his duties. "Why not?" the young Earl exclaimed, "I'm bored, and with you out of the house, who will entertain me? I have to go and pick out a present for Elizabeth's birthday anyway." "Why, thank you for letting me accompany you, young master…" "I'm not going with you," Ciel said, looking out the window, "You will go get the ingredients for dinner after we get something for Elizabeth." "Of course, my lord," Sebastian spoke, bowing toward him, "I shall prepare the chariot immediately." He guided the cart out of the study and continued down the hallway. _"The young master going out to hand-pick something for Lady Elizabeth? Such weakness…" _Sebastian thought while displaying a secret grin, _"Maybe the young lord has become comfortable with displaying weakness…"_

2:43pm

The ride to the town of London was like any other day. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Once into town, Sebastian and the young Earl went into the town square where the vendors displayed their products, whether they be homemade or originals (or knock offs) from the Funtom Company. "I have to get her something she'll love, Sebastian or she'll never forgive me," Ciel exclaimed, browsing the selection. "Young Master, you don't think Lady Elizabeth would just accept the gift from you because it was from you?" the butler asked, with his charm echoing in his smile. Ciel looked at him, puzzled, thinking that maybe he was hiding something. "You know what she wants, don't you?" "Me, my lord?" He said, "Why would my lady talk to me? I am merely a butler." "You're lying…" "I don't lie, my lord." Ciel fiercely looked away, trying his hardest to search for the perfect present for his fiancée. "Why don't you just ask for my help, my lord?" Sebastian suggested, "I would love to aid you through this." "No!" Ciel implied, "You will be a last resort this time. I will call upon you when I need you." "As you wish."

For a half an hour, Ciel struggled to pick out the present in which would he thought would make Elizabeth happy. Though he would select certain things, Sebastian would discretely cough, suggesting that the lad pick something else. "This is ridiculous!" Ciel expressed, "Why even celebrate such a silly occasion?" "But young master," Sebastian started to explain, "The lady's birthday is a wonderful occasion when the heavens graced the Earth with her bubbly personality, great taste in decoration and overall cuteness." Ciel turned with his puzzled face until his eyes landed on his smiling companion. "It was the way she described it, my lord." "Oh, so you do talk to her." "No, my lord," he implicated, "I am merely a great listener."

5:17pm

They continued looking as Sebastian looked to the sky, observing the soon to be sunset and checked the time. "We must hurry to the vegetables, young master," he implicated, "It Is very late and I haven't even started on dinner. Anyway, who's to know what's gone on in the manor in our long absence."

Meanwhile at the manor, Finny, Baldroy, and the maid, MeyRin all gather around watching the senior butler, Tanaka (who in which has very low stamina) chase baby ducks around the small rose garden. "This is the most Tanaka's moved all day," MeyRin pointed out while watching in amazement. "I wonder what the young master and Sebastian are doing," Finny wondered aloud. "They're probably on business as always," Baldo spoke, while continuing to watch the action. "That's it," Finny started to explain, "Why is it that Sebastian goes everywhere with the young master? It's like he's his favorite." "You know, you're right," MeyRin added, "We stay here and guard the manor and barely get a chance to get a taste of outside." Tanaka, after taking a moments rest, presented himself in his normal state with his tea-cup in hand. "You were hired here to maintain the Phantomhive manor from any outside attacks," he stated, "If everyone went on field trips, who would be here to protect the mansion?" "I mean, not that we want to go all the time," Baldo explained, "It's just, when do we get to go and get fresh air besides when Sebastian sends us for supplies?" "Yet, you have the most important job," Tanaka said without hesitation, "Anyone with brains and strength can protect the young lord, yet it takes real heart and determination to protect one's home." There was silence, with the quacks of the ducks and the sound of Tanaka's body deflating. "You know? You're right," Finny said, starting to understand the importance of staying home, "We do the best we can do here! Let's start putting our best foot forward!" The three agreed, with Tanaka's _"Ho ho ho" _adding into their enthusiasm.

"Yes, what they could be doing indeed," The young master agreed, trying his best to hurry his search, "Ugh! This is hopeless. I have no idea what she'd like for her birthday." Sebastian smiled, walking over to one of the vendors and rubbing his finger against the exterior of the wooden frame. "You know, my lord, I could be of some assistance." Ciel looked up at him and sighed. _"He's a demon," _Ciel thought, _"As if he knows anything about birthdays and showing affection." _He smiled. "Ok, Sebastian," he finally agreed, "Pick something out that Elizabeth would love for her birthday." Sebastian continued to display his charismatic smile while skimming the selection. "You know, my lord, this is very generous of you," the butler stated, "The gesture of hand picking something, when you could have sent me in your place from the beginning." Ciel's face began to bloom and blossom as he snatched his face away. "What are you talking about?" He said, "There's nothing generous about it. I don't understand why people celebrate birthdays anyway. Besides, like you'd know what she'd like right away. She'd kill me if I didn't get her something she'd absolutely love." "On the contrary," Sebastian interrupted while grabbing a hold of a royal blue necklace, "Lady Elizabeth just wants you to be happy. I'm sure that the fact that you went out of your way to pick something just for her, will delight her beyond belief." He held up the necklace so that the young Earl could lay his eyes upon it. It sparked and shined with the sun; with a blue stone, almost the same shade as the master's ring upon his thumb, accented with a gold chain. Ciel paid for the item, had it gift wrapped and headed to shop for produce.

After the grocery shopping, the demonic butler and his young master headed back to the manor. The Earl stared out of window of the carriage as his companion stared at him. Ciel caught wind and soon reacted. "What are you staring at?" He asked. "You, my lord" Sebastian answered, "Just think of how cute Lady Elizabeth will think you were today." "She's my fiancee. Auntie would kill me if I even thought about not getting her a present. With this time before her birthday, I have time to think about something better." His butler smiled. "The way you were presenting yourself," Sebastian added, "It seemed as if you liked shopping for her." Ciel ignored his companion's comments and enjoyed the rest of the ride. They had just reached the river bank, which had signified that they were pulling to the halfway point. _"What would you know about what's nice…what really matters?" _He thought, _"You make a deal, sign agreements, follow the guidelines and collect the reward. Never once do you think about who it is you are paired to. Do you even know how it feels to love? To feel a type of compassion for someone, other than ordered?" _ These thoughts flustered and flew through his mind as if he were in a hurricane, asking the question over and over. _"What does he know about love?" _

9:45pm

After dinner, the Earl took his dessert in his study. Once again, Sebastian arrived to his study to find the young master, bored with his afternoon paperwork. It had gotten late, and with letting the time pass them in London, it seemed as if things were a little behind. "Young master, I've brought your dessert as you've asked," Sebastian presented. "Just wait a moment," Ciel proclaimed, trying his best to finish factory business. "Sir, I must say," his butler spoke, coming behind him, "Those papers can wait until tomorrow. It's gotten pretty late already." "Maybe you're right," he agreed as the butler began to clear his desk. He carefully carried over the master's dessert and tea and waited for further instruction. "Sebastian…" the young one called out, catching the butler's attention, "Run a bath for me. I need to soak for a while." "Yes, my lord." Sebastian bowed out, backing into the hallway, and heading toward his master's request. _"What does he know about love?" _Ciel lifted himself from his seat and headed toward the window. _"I've always wondered what he cared about the most. Protecting me is our contract, certainly not something he takes pleasure doing. And even if he did…" _The young Earl rubbed his ring with laid upon his thumb and stared into the moon. _"…it isn't if he isn't getting something out of it." _

Ciel completed his dessert and head toward his bath, where his loyal servant stripped him and prepared to bathe him. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, for he had done this for three years before this time. Yet, the feeling was different. Ciel's head were filled with thoughts, which almost seemed to be the reason the room was silent. It was also because the servant himself, wished to display something from off his chest. It was almost as if he was holding a secret; a burden which weighed him down and distracted him from his daily duties. It was more than just an ordinary debate or ridiculous commend; he longed to express his feeling but he knew he would be rejected. As Sebastian cleaned his master's back, he eased his face toward his skin. The scent of the young master filled his nostrils and danced around, as if it was a sweet melody. _"Young master…" _Ciel hadn't noticed. He had wondered why he was so silent but he hadn't really cared. The sponge made circles on his back and the scent of cleanliness was all that mattered to him in that point in time. "I'm ready to get out now," he spoke as Sebastian rose and prepared his towel. He stepped out of his bathtub just as the way he was born and proceeded to be wiped down. Once again, all seemed the same this night yet, the thoughts were different. The silence filled the room like a whistle as he arrived to his bed. The butler took care always placing the master in his under garments. And, as the moon got higher, he was tucked into bed and was prepared for sleep. "Sleep well, my lord," the butler spoke as he turned and headed out. "Sebastian, wait!" He called out to him, in his tracks. "I want to ask you something." "Anything, my lord," he progressed, turning toward him. "Have you ever loved someone?" he asked. "My lord…" "Just answer the question." Sebastian faintly smiled and addressed his master. "I am a demon. We do not pay attention to such emotions on a daily beckon, except those to devour the human soul." Ciel remained silent, watching the moon rise to its highest peak. "You didn't answer my question," he spoke, turning to his demonic butler, "I didn't ask what emotions or desires you embraced. I asked have you ever loved someone. Do you know what it feels like?" Sebastian released a sigh, and began to part his lips. "It was a very long time ago, my lord," he said, "That romance is long gone from this world." Ciel, accepting his answered, laid down his head on his pillow and turned toward the window. "I'm guessing you are ready for bed," Sebastian spoke, "You have a long day ahead of you." "Yes…" the young lord spoke with hesitation, releasing a sigh and closing his eyes. "Goodnight, young master." With one small breath, the fire from the candle was gone, filling the room with darkness. The door creaked as his demonic companion stepped out and closed it behind him.

He started down the hallway, his heart pounding. His demonic urges flowing through him with no end in sight. Sebastian pinned himself against the wall, hoping to have some type of control. "Why does he tempt me so?" He spoke aloud, thinking of his question. _"Have you ever loved someone?" _How could he answer such a question, knowing of his present desires. It had been a while since he had felt like this. Since his heart pumped with the want of feasting upon him. Yet, it wasn't a way of killing. He wanted to feel skin pushed against him, a hold that meant something; for once he wished not to sleep alone. _"Ciel…" _He got himself together, feeling embarrassed though no one was around. "I must prepare for tomorrow…" he spoke while continuing his journey downstairs. He controlled his urges for, yet, another night. _"I am a demon," _he thought to himself, _"I do not indulge in such emotions…" _


	2. The Puppy Trail

The Puppy Trail

Days grew closer to Elizabeth's birthday. Though she had been sick and couldn't come by, Ciel knew that on this special occasion, she would pop up and light up the entire manor. He couldn't help to wonder if the necklace was enough. Not as if it wasn't _good enough, _it was what his demonic butler, Sebastian, had told him days before_. "Lady Elizabeth just wants you to be happy. I'm sure that the fact that you went out of your way to pick something just for her, will delight her beyond belief." _Was this true or was he just making noise? Did she just truly want him to be happy? He considered every possible gift she would ever want, and tried to pick something that would be…just perfect.

Soon after awaking, in walked Sebastian, intending to wake him. "Oh… you're awake, young master," he spoke, rolling in the morning tea. "I couldn't sleep," he said. "Was something bothering you?" his butler asked, walking to the window and pulling back the curtains. "No… it was nothing." He swung his legs from under the covers. "I just couldn't sleep." Sebastian smirked, walking toward the young master. Why did he lie to him? He had been by his side for three years; he knew when something was on the master's mind. He slowly began to remove the young lord's undergarments and replace them with his wardrobe of the day. "For the morning tea," he started, "I have prepared a breakfast crepe, filled with apples, blueberries and a small honey drizzle and a ginger tea." The young one sipped his tea while his socks were changed. "What is my schedule?" he asked. "Well, the veterinarian is coming to inspect the horses, the director of the Funtom company in Eastern Europe is coming with samples of the new toys, Ms. Bryant spoke that she wouldn't be able to make this evening's lesson, so I assume you shall be working with me on your violin skills again." "Is that all?" Ciel asked. Sebastian tied his shoes and stuck his hand in his jacket pocket. "And… there was this…" He pulled out an envelope, with the presence of her majesty the Queen all over it. He carefully opened his letter, hopping off the bed and continuing to the study. "People are starting to turn up dead…" he spoke aloud as his butler followed him. "My lord, shouldn't you have breakfast in the dining area?" he asked. "Bring it to me, I shall eat it here," he answered while continuing into his study.

The butler did as asked and headed downstairs to the dining area. He pictured how focused his master was on the job that was just put in front of him. How determined, as the Queen's guard dog, to do what she pleased at her every call. Though he knew he would be there to protect the young lord, he smelled the scent of certain disaster the moment the Earl's letter arrived. The Earl continued reading as his breakfast was presented to him. "Nikola Tesla?" Ciel spoke. "He is an inventor, my lord," Sebastian stated, "There is said that he has come here to the inventor's convention this weekend. Every inventor from the world is coming there to display their works and hope for a patent." Ciel took a bite of his breakfast, reading over the letter once again which now laid on his desk. "Her majesty would like me to get close to him and see where is in involved with these deaths," he spoke, "It says here he is the last to see any of them alive." Sebastian stared at the young Earl as he sipped his tea. Ciel got up from his chair and walked over to the corner. "An invitation would be so much easier to obtain is Madame Red were here," he mumbles as he approaches the window. Here, he watches the Phantomhive servants assist Finny in the removal of a bee hive. "Do you regret what happened that night, my lord?" "No!" He made a shape turn toward his butler. "Yes, she was my aunt, but she was also a criminal. And as my service to the Queen, had to be stopped." He often has nightmares about that rainy night, though he tried his best to suppress them. Mostly, he failed, which allows these terrors to be added of the reminder to his relatives' terrible endings. "So, my lord," Sebastian spoke to his master, "What are your orders?" Ciel took in a deep breath. "Find anyone who knows anything about Nikola Tesla. What he is looking for here, when these disappearances started, and who he is with." "Yes, my lord." Sebastian bowed his head and proceed out of the door. "And one more thing, Sebastian…" he called out, "See to it that we are present to this convention." "Of course." The demonic butler continues out of the door and heads on his way.

The day passes with the scheduled events coming and going. Ciel, finally finished the week's paperwork, decides to take a walk through his garden. Usually, he stays inside for the fear that _They _will come and capture him. Yet today, he felt as if a little fresh air was needed. He paced back and forth, rubbing his fingertips on his white roses. The day had seemed peaceful and full of inactivity. From the dining area window, the servants watched him. "I've never seen the young master so full of thought," MeyRin stated. "Niether have I," Finny added, "Something important must be on his mind. Maybe it is his parents again." He truly had no idea what he would present Elizabeth for her birthday. _"Is the necklace enough?" _he thought repeatedly, _"Will she like it? I have to do something to go with her present. It isn't normal for her to have just one gift. Yes, she shall many others but what shall she have from me?" _As he pestered these thoughts, his butler returned. "I have completed my task, young master," he spoke, as Ciel turned around, "Not many know of Tesla or his invention. He is from America and has yet to be discovered. That explains him being here." They started back into the manor and continued their conversation in the study.

"So, they were coming to help with the invention?" Ciel asked. "Yes," Sebastian answered, "The victims' families are all saying they were going to meet him to assist with the finalization of his plans." Ciel became puzzled. "Then, it must be Tesla doing it himself," he deduced, "With him being the last to have seen them, he could have murdered them while he was here and keep the credit all to himself if he were to be patented." "If it were that simple, my lord," Sebastian commented, "I truly believe her majesty may have entrusted this case into the officers of Scotland Yard for once." Ciel smirked. "You're right." He leaned back in his chair and began to rock a little. Sebastian's palms began to sweat through his gloves as he noticed the exposure of Ciel's pulsing neck. He had longed for this urge to be released but he didn't know the right time. Doing it anytime soon would cause even more confusion than what to get for a birthday present. Sebastian excused himself, but was soon called back before he reached the door. "Sebastian…" The sound of his name made his spine shudder. The soft tone of his master's voice, the demand of his presence; the urge became worse. He had to get out. "Yes, my lord," he spoke, turning back toward him. "Where's the invitation?" he asked. "Why, my lord," he said while displaying a smirk, "The Queen herself sent you an invitation. I have it here in my jacket." He reached inside to reveal yet another envelope by her majesty. After handing it in, he walked out of the study and loosened his tie. _"Why can't I control this…?" _He could no longer help himself. He needed something, anything, to set him back the way he was. He was paying attention to too many details about the young master, he needed a distraction.

Two days had passed, with the inventors convention approaching. The young Earl had invited Nikola Tesla over for dinner, to discuss the details of the convention. "You are so young," Tesla commented from the other side of the dining table. Ciel eyes enflamed with the mention of his age, yet he held his composure. "In this country, you come into power when it is given, not when you become of age." Nikola smiled. "So smart," he added, "I admire that. So Earl, what brings the sudden invitation to dinner?" Sebastian had just been putting the finishing touches on dinner in the kitchen. "I have heard rumors," Ciel fibbed, "That you will do great things in the near future. I also will be attending the invention convention, to represent my Funtom toy factory. I wanted to know if maybe you were in need of a partner." Tesla sipped his wine. Ciel intended to draw out his plans, thinking that he could link him to the murders, yet what came next was not expected. "I will not be presenting at the convention," Nikola announced. Ciel's eyes widened as he looked at the young inventor. "What do you mean?" he asked, "You plan to attend a convention, without the intension of presenting. Why is that?" He took a deep breath. Before he could give his reason, dinner was presented. "My lords," Sebastian spoke, after laying dinner in front of them, "For tonight's dinner, we have a well prepared vegetable soup with carrots, potatoes and cabbage freshly grown from the Phantomhive garden. For dessert, we have a Lemon Meringue Pie." As the butler departed, dinner had begun. Soon after beginning to eat, Ciel insisted on the continuation of his guest's story. "As you were saying, Mr. Tesla…" "Oh yes, of course." He wiped off the corner of his mouth and sipped his wine. After clearing his throat and mouth of food, he continued. "I had once been here before this occasion and had met a group of six people who had wanted to take part in my project. Though things had been complicated at first, we had decided that we would come here to Europe and see what was in front of us, only bringing with me the prototype. We don't believe our invention is worthy yet."

The dinner went on, and soon after completion, came dessert. They stayed in the dining area, as Ciel wanted Sebastian to be near him as he told his story. "I used to work for a man named Thomas Edison in New Jersey. A few years ago, I challenged his way of thinking and he kicked me out of his lab. Since then, I have tried my best to over shadow the scientist. Yet, when I come here, my crew disappears and one by one, end up dead." Ciel stops eating his dessert, as he finally believes the important part has been put into light. "They were all my friends. I believe that Edison is behind this. But he is a respected public figure, how can I prove that he had something to do with trying to steal my prototype?" Ciel finished his dessert and wiped his mouth. "I'm sure that in due time, this Edison will be investigated."

Dinner soon concluded, and Nikola was sent on his way. "Sebastian…" the young one called out to his butler, "See to it that this, Thomas Edison, is investigated as well. I want to know what's going on between the two of them and if he is involved." "Yes, young master." As always, he helped his young lord into bed and blew out the candle as he left. This night, no questions about his past were asked or mentioned. It had almost seemed as if the previous answer he was given shut off any other desires of wanting to know. Instead of his room, Sebastian headed outside. He strolled around looking for his late night companion. "There you are…" In an instant, the demon had picked up a cat, with fur the color of coal and as smooth as silk. "Shall you walk with me on this night?" he asked the creature he held in his arms, not expecting to get an answer. The cat snuggled into the corner of Sebastian's arm, and stayed as they walked around the estate.


	3. Electric Shock

Electric Shock

The day of the inventor's convention arrives. Ciel begins to prepare himself for the evening ahead of him, as Sebastian sees to it that nothing be ruined. He had always admired the way the young master dressed; making him seem more grown up. He believed that someone in such a powerful stature should always look their best. Though no matter how much he tried to think of him as just a master, small thoughts always struck him regularly. The thought that one day, the master and butler would become one and this journey would not end with the devouring of his soul. "Do I look presentable?" Ciel asked, looking at himself in the mirror. "You do, as you always have, my lord," Sebastian answered. His voice hiding the desire to hold him in such a grip that would show him true feeling. "Ugh! I hate trying to impress these so called nobles," the young Earl exclaimed, "They stick their dreams in everyone's faces hoping to change the world." Ciel struggled to tie his tie in the mirror, though Sebastian was behind him. Sebastian smiled, watching him struggle, once again hesitating with asking for help. _"How adorable you are," _the demon thought, _"Even in your times of anguish, you will continue to stand on your own…" _

Night fall began to cover the sky as the young air and his butler arrived at the palace. "Remember Sebastian," Ciel spoke, as they pulled in front of the palace, "You are to see what type of clues you can find from all the guest at this event, including Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla." "Yes, my lord," Sebastian reassured, "I shall do my very best." They walked into the convention find themselves surrounded by scientists from all over displaying their prototypes and second tries of their inventions. As he was told by Nikola days before, he did not display his product. Yet, he was there, skimming and observing the soon to be competition. "Have you seen anything that gives you inspiration?" Ciel asked, stepping up to Nikola as he was looking over one of the vendors. "Oh me? No… It isn't the same without my team," he spoke. Ciel panned the room to see if there was anyone suspicious that he may have wanted to be looked over. Suddenly, he noticed a large crowd surrounding an older looking gentleman who seemed to be very sophisticated. "Who is that?" he asked. "Oh, that is Thomas Edison." Ciel's eyes widened as he looked over toward them. They seemed so interested in what he had to say. Ciel slowly eased his way across the room and decided that it was time that he introduced himself. As he approached the respected scientist, the crowd seemed to separate and let him through. "Ah, Lord Phantomhive!" Ciel stopped in his tracks. Shock filled his body. He had known who he was without him speaking a word.

"Y-You know who I am?" "Of course, the most noble in all of London besides the Queen herself should be recognized as such." Ciel felt his face heat up and begin to bloom. He had never seen such charm, such open winged kindness from a total stranger before. Someone had finally looked at him, not as a child, but as something close to royalty. After a short conversation, Nikola walked over seeming worried. "Young Earl, may I have a word?" Before Ciel could address him, he was interrupted. "Stay with the life of the party, Lord Phantomhive," Edison spoke, "Don't be caught seen with someone who blends in." Tesla mugged him as he pulled Ciel away. He led him toward the edge of the palace and expressed his concerns. "Who is missing?" he asked. "My very last aid, Richard," Tesla exclaimed, "He was supposed to be here an hour ago. I have no one left after him." "I thought all your aids were killed…" "No, only the five who were here in London," he explained, "Richard traveled to Germany over the week to do some studying in the city of Rome. He just got back today." Ciel passed a look toward Edison, who had seen him looking and smiled. Ciel's insides began to boil. To think, the same person who had recognized him as a respected noble, was in the center of his investigation. "Sebastian…" He called out into the ball room, to find that his butler was standing right behind him. "Yes, my lord." "There is one more aid left. Take me to him." Sebastian smiled. Finally today, he had asked for his help. And though it would go against the contract if he refused, he had truly began to like the fact that he needed him. "Yes, young master…" he answered.

After leaving the convention, Sebastian had taken Ciel to an old abandoned warehouse where people were used to hand stitch clothing which has since been shut down since the invention of the sewing machine. "Where are we?" the young lord asked. "West Hampton, my lord," he spoke, "You ordered me to take you to the last aid, and we shall find him here." The two of them split up within the warehouse, seeking the last aid of Nikola. _"How idiotic can I be?" _Ciel thought to himself, _"To think that Edison had actually paid attention for the person I was and no just digging for information." _The search went on for 15mins until finally, Ciel began to get frustrated. "This is hopeless!" Ciel shouted, "It's like trying to find a scientist in an invention convention." It had grown late, and the young Earl became tired. He sat down to have a little rest and think of the bases he had covered. _"The aid is here…" _he thought to himself, _"Sebastian would not bring me to a dead end, just to watch me squirm." _He sat for as long as he needed. As he began to stand on his own two feet, he felt a hand cover his face to stop him from screaming. He began to panic and after being introduced to a familiar smell, passed out within seconds.

Ciel had awaken, dazed and full of cottonmouth. He couldn't look around, for he had been blindfolded. "I knew Tesla would bring someone to rescue his aid…." There a voice in the darkness. Someone else was here. He took in a deep breath and let the smell of iron hit his face. _"Blood..?" _The young lord stayed calm, no need to panic when something is right in front of you. Suddenly, his blindfold was ripped off and he was permitted to see. In front of him, stood an Englishman, not quite American, with a crowbar. Across the room, laid the aid who had been tied up, and Sebastian. "…I didn't know he would send a kid and a butler." "Who are you?" Ciel demanded, "Who sent you?" The gentleman laughed a horrible laugh, one that had indicated the use of tobacco. "As if you are in the position to be asking any types of questions," he countered. Ciel stared at his demonic butler, and smiled on the inside. "You three will soon become the experiment of direct voltage from a wondrous machine," the man spoke while pulling the tarp from a weirdly outlined item in the corner. This machine was mostly metal, covered in bolts and with a turner on the right hand side. "This machine will electrocute anyone the helmet is administered to with over two thousand volts of, what the world shall soon call, electricity," he explained, coming to Ciel and pulling his chair closer to the machine, "And you shall be the sixth subject." "Is this how you killed Tesla's other aids?" Ciel asked, as the man carefully placed a helmet full of wires and which seemed to be connected to the machine on his head, "Why?" "For profit of course," he spoke with a smile, "Can't have everyone coming out with the same idea. Mr. Edison will make millions with his invention. To have some brat, Tesla, come to America and question his way of work? His dream?" The man spat on the ground, landing on Ciel's feet. "It was downright disrespectful. So what's a better way to ensure someone is embarrassed in public over in America? Take their idea and slowly but surely have it become yours and make millions." Ciel looked down at his saliva covered shoe with disgust. He was tired of this game they were being stuck in. The gentleman snatched off the child's eye patch and continued to laugh at him. "I want you to experience this pain, with both eyes open. And don't worry…." He walked over to the machine and began to spin the turner, starting it and giving it power. "…your friends shall soon be with you in the afterlife." Ciel had finally become impatient. "Sebastian…" he called out from over the loud noise of the machine. He had heard him, this tone of voice was familar. He loved the sound of being wanted and needed. "This is an order. Save me and destroy this machine." The man laughed harder. "You really think that butler can do ANYTHING?! Let alone hear?" "On the contrary," spoke a voice from behind him, "I'm not just an ordinary butler." The Englishman slowly turned around, shaking in fear, letting the turner go. His eyes made it around first, to see Sebastian standing behind him. "I am one hell of a butler." With one motion, the butler dug his nails into the man's throat and ripped out his Adam's apple. He dropped and he began to dismantle the machine.

After setting fire to the warehouse and waking the aid, he carried the young master in his arms, once again escaping certain death. "Thank you for saving me," Richard spoke to him, once outside and away from the fire, "I am truly grateful." "I did not save you," Sebastian spoke, "I was merely following my master's orders. I saved him and destroyed the machine. It would've simply been distasteful if I left you in that fire." The young Earl, who once again laid in his arms, had passed out for the moment from all the commotion. In reality, he was still just a child and certain things, he could not handle. The butler had changed his gloves to ensure no blood or oil touched the young master and that he would not get a scolding for being a messy demon butler. "Just to my curiosity…" the butler spoke, as the warehouse acquired maximum fuel and oxygen, resulting in an explosion. Richard stared at the disaster in amazement, he had never seen something like this up close. "….if my master were to have that machine reach its' peak and had been electrocuted, what would have happened?" Richard looked at the butler, and then back to the blaze. "Six thousand volts of pure electricity would've went through his body. As if it were lightning from the sky," he stated, "Providing his size, it would've went to his heart immediately and imploded. He would have surely died on this night." Sebastian looked at the collapsed young child that laid to rest in his arms. "Ay…I see…" He slowly began to walk into the forest and head toward the manor. He smiled as the flame filled the forest with light, guiding him through it without need for a candle. "I was called upon just in time…"


	4. Don't Tell Sebastian

Don't tell Sebastian…

Aug. 24th; the day before Elizabeth's birthday

Time had finally ran out for the young Earl and his decision making. Word came that Lady Elizabeth's sickness was letting up and that she would be by tomorrow. He was nervous and he couldn't come up with anything. He wanted everything to be special for his young betrothed for her special day. Perhaps a picnic, something that simple includes the two of them. She may like that the most. He can surprise her with her gift at the end of their day, and send her on her way home. But what if that isn't enough? The sun shined high in the sky as the Earl completed the day's paperwork. His butler had been downstairs preparing the afternoon tea and dinner selections and hadn't been up near him to make sure everything was alright. _"I'm tired of calling on that demon for advice and action," _Ciel thought. He twirled the end of the pencil in his mouth, thinking hard and long on what to do. _"I am the Earl of Phantomhive. I am too old to be asking for help from a butler all time. Especially for something as delicate as a birthday." _

So instead, he called on the other four servants to help him with decision making. They were less intelligent, helpful and at times, utterly useless compared to his demon companion, yet they were human and he wouldn't feel half as ridiculous asking them. "Lady Elizabeth's birthday is tomorrow?" Finny asked, as he and the other three Phantomhive servants stood in front of the young master, "That's wonderful." "Yes, I suppose so," Ciel spoke, leaning back in his chair, "Yet, I have no idea what to do for her birthday. She is sure to come here tomorrow and though I've gotten her a gift, we must do something for her and show her this day is important." They stood there, puzzled, wondering how they would be of any assistance. Personally, they expected him to demand them to be on their best behavior, though that was Sebastian's line of command. "That's why I need the help of you three," Ciel said, looking at them, "I need you to brainstorm and think of something we could do here for Lady Elizabeth. I would like each of you to at least have one idea by the end of the day." They were shocked. The young master, asking them for help in planning this joyous occasion? They were extremely honored. "Why, young master…" MeyRin blurted out. "We would love to help!" Baldroy added, as the rest agreed. "Good," Ciel commented, "Oh and…don't tell Sebastian." "Why not, young master?" His visible eye enflames. The four of them shake with fear that they'll be put into the tea. "I don't need a reason." Their teeth chatter, and try to hold each other, while also using each other as a shield. "Now, go!" The three rush out in an instant, with Tanaka's _"ho ho ho" _following them all the way out.

They circled themselves outside in the garden, surrounded by the trees so that Sebastian wouldn't see what they had been doing. "I'm so excited!" MeyRin exclaimed, "We never get personal request from the young master." "Yea…" Finny agreed. "And that's why, we shall do our best to help him please Lady Elizabeth!" The three yelled in unison, and then, there was silence. They sat rubbing their invisible chin hairs, hoping that something would come to mind. They did not want to disappoint him. "Anyone got an idea?" Baldroy asked. "No," the other two exhaled, feeling defeated before they even began. "The problem is we don't even know what the Lady likes." They remained sitting there thinking. As the time passed, they began to get weird feelings. "Have you ever felt like…." "You're being watched?" Baldroy interrupted. "That's because you are…" The three slowly turned to see Sebastian standing behind the four of them. His eyes screamed anger and frustration. "What are you three doing out here?" he asked. "We were doing something for…" Before Finny could finish, Baldroy and Mey Rin covered his mouth. "We were just talking about our feelings about…puppies..." Mey Rin fibbed. Sebastian stuck his face as close to them as he could get while standing. "Why are you sitting here talking about those repulsive creatures when you should be doing what I asked of you?" They had once again forgotten the daily chores. "You three should be cleaning the kitchen, polishing the silverware and bathing the horses!" They could see themselves being set on fire in his mind. "W-We're sorry, Sebastian. We're get right to it," Baldroy commented as the four of them headed back into the manor, still holding Finny's mouth shut, only leaving behind a dusty trail.

The four of them arrived in the kitchen. "Tanaka, you stay by the door and remain look out if Sebastian is coming," Baldroy insisted as they sat Finny in the chair and he agreed. "That was close," Finny commented as the other two looked at him. "Are you crazy or something?!" Mey Rin asked, "The young master told us to keep it a secret from Sebastian." Finny smiled a convicting smile and rubbed the back of his head. "Oh yea," he giggled, "I'm sorry." They began cleaning and polishing, while all thinking of the task they were given. "What about a puppy?" Mey Rin suggested. "He said he already got her a gift," Baldroy commented while putting the polished silverware away. Finny sat there, thinking of things the young master could do. "Well, if we hosted a party for Lady Elizabeth, we could dress up all cute for her and make her happy…" His two other companions stopped in their tracks and turned to Finny. "What did you say?" Mey Rin asked, getting closer. "You know, a party," Finny rephrased, "When Lady Elizabeth is here, everything is decorated the way she likes it. If we decorate the manor and ourselves without her help and bake a cake, she should be most pleased." Baldroy jumped from his seat. "That's it!" "We can host a party for the Milady!" Mey Rin exclaimed, with her excitement reaching its peak. She jumped and with her landing, all the plates came down and crashed to the ground. "Oh no, not again…" Tanaka got up from his seat and waved his arms as fast as he could, trying his best to signal them. The three of them, not paying attention to him, hurried to the floor to assist Mey Rin in the clean-up. "Sebastian is going to have my head, yes he will." "He won't if he doesn't come," Baldroy spoke, "We just gotta clean up this mess, finish our chores and hurry to tell the young master." "Tell him what?" The three turned around to see Tanaka with his hands up and Sebastian standing behind him. "Uh…we…uh…" "Why must you cause so much trouble throughout the day?" he spoke, entering the kitchen, "I shall get the spare plates from the cellar. The three of you, please go and attend to the horses. You've done enough here." The three hurried to the stable with Tanaka quickly following behind.

As Sebastian headed to the cellar, he wondered what those three had been hiding. Out in the garden, and again in the kitchen…something was going on and it was more than broken saucers. While heading down the steps of the cellar, he had also wondered why the young master hadn't called for him. He was able to get all his duties done without a single interruption. _"It is odd in a way…" _the butler thought to himself, _"As much as I enjoy getting the daily chores done without trouble, I always seem to get beckoned at least once." _For a moment, he missed having his named called. He longed to be needed, to have him demand something from him, no matter how ridiculous. The dreams he had at night, when able to sleep, did not stop. He longed for the warm touch of the master, knowing it would never come. He leaned his back against the cabinet in the cellar that held the plates and ran his fingers through his hair. The warmth in his waist spread throughout his body as he felt the sweat cover his hand. "I can't help myself," he spoke aloud, as he stuck his hand in his pocket. _"Ciel…why won't you embrace me?" _His heart longed for this body heat to be matched by another. To have his name whispered in his ear; to be loved once again. He shook off this desire and attended to his recently added business. _"He will never look at me in that way," _he thought as he continued back up the stairs with the plates. _"I am nothing but a butler…a demon at that…"_

"A party?" Ciel said, while his four servants stood in front him with smiles on their faces. "Yes, sir," Baldroy spoke, "It's perfect. It's her favorite." "Personally, I was trying to avoid having a party here at the manor," Ciel said, rubbing his temples. The three of their smiles slowly disappeared. They felt defeated; the only assignment that was actually important to the young lord that they were given, they had failed. The Earl exhaled and looked up at them. "Alright then," he spoke as they looked at his face. He rang the bell to the kitchen and in a few moments, Sebastian walked into the study. "You rang, my lord?" he spoke, puzzled on why the other four were there. "Sebastian, get the manor prepared and decorated," he stated, "We're having a party." The servants' faces lit up, with them cheering and dancing with accomplishment. They had made him happy and enjoyed this feeling. "Shall I bake a cake?" "Yes," he said, "And make the manor 'cute'. Make it seem as if Lady Elizabeth lives here herself." Sebastian bowed, speaking, "Yes, my lord" and backing out of the door. The thought that she would be coming here hadn't worried him; it isn't as if she hadn't come here before or as if she hadn't been around before his time. He simply loved the sound of his name being called by his master again. _"Sebastian…" _It echoed through his mind as he imagined holding him in his arms, and having his name whispered in his ear. He wondered how it would feel to touch him the way Elizabeth touched him. As he continued to the kitchen to finish the dinner preparations, he smiled. His one true desire sat in front him, reaching out its hand which he had yet to grab. The warmth returned in his hips, sailing downward as he bit his lip. _"Sebastian…" _"Not yet," he spoke, "I mustn't delay his dinner. I must hold on a little while longer."


	5. Mental Confusion

Mental Confusion

The day begins with preparations for Lady Elizabeth's party. With the assistance of his Phantomhive servants, the manor is completely prepared and decorated to Elizabeth's liking. Well, at least, later on in the day. Right now, Ciel Phantomhive was waking up in the middle of the night. Palms sweaty, heart beating rapidly, alone in the darkness. The nightmares had taken over his dreams for yet another night and he had just returned back into reality. Today was also his mother's birthday, as well as Elizabeth's, and that scared him. It had always scared him. He couldn't catch his breath. He felt as if he had been running. Though, in a sense, he had. He had been denying and ignoring these feelings, that they attack him in his sleep. The feeling of not being able to let go; to accept that they had been taken from him and that he was alone. Now, he had no choice. No matter how he hid his feelings, the sweat screamed fear and let the nightmares escape. He held his knees in his chest and balled up on his bed. He called out to him, to his demonic company. "Sebastian…" The candle's flickered, and soon, the butler walked into his room.

"You called me from sleep, my lord," he spoke, "Is something wrong?" "I'm scared…" His eyes widened, for he hadn't seen the young master so vulnerable since he had come from the cage that night. He remained silent as his young master sat up in his bed and held his knees. "These dreams will kill me someday…" "What dreams?" Ciel took in a deep breath. Sebastian, wanting so much to hold and comfort him, stayed by the door. "I hear their screams…" he stated, "…all of them. My mother's, my father's, Aunt Anne…I can hear them. They scream and beg to be released into something more. I can't help but try my best to help them, to stop the pain. But when I reach my destination, I realize their laughing at me. Their laughs echo in my head…mocking me, as if they wanted me to be alone…" Sebastian listened, and longed to take away his pain. "Shall I bring you some warm milk and honey to help with your sleeping?" "No…" Ciel looked out the window to the partial full moon. He looked again to see his demonic butler, still standing at his side. "S-Stay with me…until I fall asleep…" "Is this an order…?" Ciel looked down at his thumbs. He tried his best to concur these fears alone but it seemed impossible. When their eyes met, Sebastian notice the look of them. Watery and wide, trying their best to hide the pain but swallowing the pride and asking for help; puppy dog eyes. "…I'm asking you…" He smirked. For once, this was something he needed. He walked over to his bed, and sat down. As the young one curled up under his covers and his bottom lip trembled, his companion got closer to him and placed his hand on his head. "No need to be in fear, young master…" he spoke. The teen looked up at him and tried his best to relax. Sebastian pushed the hair out of his face and continued to try and make him feel comfortable. "I am here by your side, until the end…"

Ciel moved his head and laid it upon the demon's leg. "Don't leave me, Sebastian…" His ears rang with this sweet sound of his desire. He couldn't give in, not here. He kept his hand on his head, stroking the strands of his thoughts. Ciel looked up at, his mix matched eyes shining in the candle light. "You've been with me through it all," he spoke, "I don't know what I'd do without you." Sebastian smiled, he loved the way he sounded; sleepy, yet sensitive. "That is our contract," the demon reminded him, "I am not to lie, nor leave and protect you…until you reach your ultimate goal." He brought up his head from his lap, and looked at him. Their faces inches away from each other. "How do you feel about me?" His mind started to race; how does he answer such a question? _"Please, young master…don't do this. Don't ask me such questions…" _Sebastian checked his pocket watch. "It's gotten very late, young master," he spoke while standing, "You must really try and get some rest. We have a lot of planning to execute for Milady's party." "Don't leave," he called out to him, stopping him from leaving the room, "Please tell me." His chest started to hurt, he couldn't keep holding it in. "Please, sir…" he spoke, "Don't make me do such a thing. I really don't think you want to know…" The corner of the young one's mouth turned, he was getting angry. "Do you hate me?" he asked, "Do you only tolerate me because of the contract?" "Of course not, my lord," Sebastian answered. He felt as if he was being set up; as if he knew what was coming, yet he still insisted on hearing it. "Tell me how you feel about me," he demanded, "That's an order!" The butler's body shivered, he could no longer reject him. He was ordered to something and he must carry it out. He sat down the candle stick, removed his gloves and loosened his tie. This was the only chance he was going to get.

"In the beginning, I thought you were an arrogant, little brat who couldn't stand on his own two feet without whining," Sebastian started, "But as I've watched you grow and change, I've come to love the way you are." The demon moved closer toward the bed, trying so hard to pace himself. "I think that you will grow to be a great man someday, if you head isn't clouded. More or less, I will always stand by you, not only because of the contract…" Ciel eyes widened. Frankly, he didn't expect this. His heart pounded; had he felt the same way all along? "Personally, young master," Sebastian continued, "I love being by your side; carrying you to the manor when things have become too much for you to handle, answering the calls when you need me…" "Get to the point, Sebastian!" he called out, staring at his balled up fists onto of his comforter. Sebastian took in a deep breath; this was the moment he was holding back. "I love you, Ciel…" Ciel's head snapped up within seconds, and he stared at him. Sebastian ran his fingers through his hair. "I know, I shouldn't have said it," he spoke, turning away from the young Earl, "I know nothing will come from this but I can't hold back anymore…" "Say it again…" He turned back to see him smiling, embracing the gesture. "Say it again, please…" Sebastian smiled, easing closer toward him. "I love you…" "Again." "I love you…" "Again." This request kept coming and the demon butler did as asked and kept repeating his love, drawing closer toward him. He sat on his bed, and held his face. On the final beckon of repeat, Sebastian whispered, "I love you, Ciel…" His smile got brighter, as if it were light up the entire room. The young one had waited so long to hear it from him. To hear it from someone who truly meant it.

He took hold of the demon's hands that lay upon his face and brought them down to his chest. "Do you mean it?" "I do, my lord," he said, "I do not lie…" He smiled and looked toward him. Their faces began to drift closer, longing to connect. "Will you do me a favor?" the butler asked. The young one's face drifts closer, with only inches separating them, their breath touching each other's cheeks. "What is it?" Sebastian took a hold of the young lord's chin and tilted it upward. "The name you gave me…" the demon stated, "Call my name…" The tip of their noses touch, their eyes closed. The temptation is high and it was what they had been waiting for, what seemed like, an eternity. The young one push his lips slightly against his companions, not enough to complete the gesture, but to progress the tease. He parts his lips and his soft voice speaks. "Sebastian…" His blood warms, and he can't stand this distance. He parts his mouth but doesn't say a word, and completes the gesture. His soft lips wrap around his body like a blanket of pure passion. He brings his hands to wrap around him, pulling his body closer, while his lips scream for more. He lays Ciel down and holds him close, their lips never separating. His brings his hand to his chest and rubs his rib cage. This impulse of ecstasy fuels them, as their bodies get closer. The passionate kisses lower from his lips to his neck. Ciel grabs hold of his back, as the demon's tongue caresses his skin. Sebastian's urges become unbearable. He wants to feed; to sink his fangs into his veins and reveal the crimson perfume from underneath. His teeth reveal themselves; he tries his best to hold back this demonic craving. Ciel's soft voice echoes through the room as he calls the butler's name. He begs for more; for this passion never to end, not knowing that Sebastian is struggling to behave himself. "Don't let me go…" He moans these words in the demon's ear, sending shivers down his back. _"I can't hold back anymore…" _The demon provides one last kiss, and suddenly, sinks his teeth in his skin. The young one lets out a scream loud enough to wake the dead as the red temptation spills from him. He can't stop… The beast has been released…

Sebastian wakes up in a pool of his own sweat. He's panting, unable to control his breath. He looks down at his shirt, which is see through from his fluid and able to show what's underneath. He looks out the window and sees that the sun is barely up. It was time for him to get up and prepare for the day, and the afternoon activities. _"It was just a dream," _he thinks as he runs his hand through his sweat infused hair. He pushes himself out of his bed, and begins to get dressed. He notices that the skin from his bottom has been broken. His blood had run down his chin and dried. He smirks while cleaning himself. "Look what I've done," he speaks while tasting himself, "I must be more careful." He buttons his jacket and heads up the stairs. "I must look presentable for milady's party," he continues, while his feet touch the last step, "For that is the Phantomhive way."


	6. Dose of Reality

Dose of Reality

The house was up early to prepare for the day's activities. Sebastian couldn't help but have his eyesight linger on the master throughout the day. Ciel would catch him, and in some way, would become irritated. "What are you staring at?" he would ask. The butler would snap out of his daze, realizing that he had been lingering and hadn't completed his task. "Nothing," he replied, "I apologize, my lord." Ciel turned his back toward him, and headed toward the kitchen. "Shouldn't you be putting up the decorations instead of daydreaming?" "Yes, my lord." He followed him into the kitchen to see what trouble the other three had caused. "Everything seems to be in order," Ciel spoke, "Except…MeyRin, you're using shoe polish again." She looked down to see that all the silverware was covered in black soot colored polish. "Oh! I'm so sorry, young master!" She exclaimed, "I shall correct this right away." The young Earl rubbed his forehead. "See to it nothing goes wrong on this day," he states, walking away from them, "I don't need any silly disasters to make her unhappy on her birthday." "Yes, my lord," he spoke again, turning away from him and looking into the kitchen. Baldroy, Finny, and MeyRin all shook in their shoes. They knew what was coming, what to expect, and what would happen if anything went wrong. "You three need to be on your best behavior on this day," Sebastian said to them, "And to insure that request, I shall oversee all your duties, unless the young master needs me to assist him." They continued to finish their jobs cautiously; they had never had Sebastian watch over them before, let alone not have anything to do to insure watching them.

A new tailor, Mrs. Aberdean arrived. She was Swedish and didn't speak a word of English, which made the plans for a new wardrobe more annoying than usual. Sebastian walked into the study, to see Ciel in a corset. His mind flashed back to the night when he went undercover to investigate the Vicount and the Jack the Ripper murders. He giggled, trying his best to hide his amusement. Ciel, catching in the middle of his discovery, became enraged. "Why are you just standing there?!" he yelled, with barely any breath in his body, "She's trying to kill me." The butler approached his master in his painful state, and pulled out a knife. "I think we've already been over this," he spoke, taking the knife and cutting the main string in the back of the corset, watching it unravel, "I don't believe a person has never died from a corset alone." The fashion piece came undone, and Ciel was allowed to breathe. He dropped to the ground, letting his chest expand again as the tailor began yelling in her native language. "What is she saying?" the young Earl asked, trying his best to pick himself up and keep from losing consciousness. "I'm not quite show," he said, "I was never fluent in Swedish. I can write it fairly well though." Sebastian grabbed a pencil and her sketchpad and taking a few moment to write something down, showed it to her. She smiled, and hugged him tightly. "What did you say to her?" the young master asked, taking off the remainder of what he labeled, a death device. "I just told her what she needed to reconsider her current sketch," he answered, pushing the woman off of him, "I shall return to the rest of the preparations. Everything shall be perfect on this night." He bowed as the tailor got back to sketching and headed out of the study.

He paced himself down the long hallway, thinking of last night's dream. _"It all felt so real. I felt everything," _He repeated in his mind over and over, posturing where it could've come from. _"His hands, his skin, his lips…" _He was convinced that this wasn't an ordinary dream, but a strong desire instead. The warmth in his neck slowly cruised down his chest and passed his bellybutton. _"What I spoke to him…was it all real? Do I love him? Or is it just a cover up to devour his very being?" _He continued to the front hall, where he hung the streamers and bows. "She shall be happy on this night," he spoke while completing this task. "For making her happy shall make the young master happy."

The sun set, and Elizabeth's chariot strolled down the pathway. On the front, there stood Sebastian and Tanaka to greet her. The young Earl's word replayed in his head, as a reminder not to mess this up. _"This is a surprise party. Don't make it seem as if anything was planned. Just wait for her by the door." _No sign of the event was displayed outside. Ciel had secretly invited everyone they know. Lau, the undertaker; even Elizabeth's personal aid, Paula knew about the surprise and secretly packed her bells for the travel. The only thing they needed was Lady Elizabeth herself. She stepped out of the carriage in a hurry, Paula following behind her. "Hello, Sebastian," she spoke, with grace in her voice as always. "Good evening, Lady Elizabeth," he greeted while bowing toward her and displaying his hand, "I'm glad you are well." "I just had a cold. I didn't want to be sick for today," she stated, "Does Ciel know what today is?" The word's echo in his ears. _"Don't make it seemed as anything is planned…" _The butler smiled as she presented herself in front of him. "No, Milady," he answered, "Is today something important?" Her gracious smile disappeared and sadness was soon displayed. "H-He doesn't?" Her eyes watered and she became upset. Paula, standing behind her, tried her best to hold in her excitement. "How couldn't he know?" She exclaimed as tears came down from her emerald eyes, "Did he not tell you?" "No, Milady," Sebastian reassured, "I am simply here to escort you inside." She cried silently while grabbing his hand. The butler turned toward the entrance, guiding the birthday girl along, and opened the door.

"Surprise!" Elizabeth's eyes widened. Her smile had returned as she pondered her lovely surroundings. Streamers, bows and candles lit up this large entry way and waited for her presence. All of the Phantomhive servants and her acquaintances were in front of her, smiling and dressed cutely. And there, just feet in front of her, stood Ciel in his new, gold and red garnished outfit. She looked up to the butler who was holding her hand. "Sebastian, you fibbed." He smiled, looking down at her. "Not on purpose, Milady," he spoke while putting on his pink bonnet she had given him before, "I was under orders to do so." She smiled. She was happy that everyone remembered, especially Ciel. He walked over toward them, noticing her red and swollen eyes. "Look at you," he spoke, pulling out his handkerchief and wiping her face, "You've gotten yourself all upset and you didn't even come across the doorway." She giggled. "Sebastian told me that you had forgotten." He wiped her eyes and her nose and placed it back in his pocket. "You must stop reacting so aggressively," Ciel told her, "How I could I have forgotten the day you graced this Earth with your beautiful smile?" Elizabeth blushed, and smiled as hard as she could. "Happy Birthday, Elizabeth," he spoke as he looked into her eyes, "This is all for you." He took her hand and guided her forward as the guest began to sing her a happy birthday song.

Dinner was presented, with Lady Elizabeth seated at the head of the table. Afterward, Sebastian presented the manor with a large cake, and candles. She climbed upon a stool and stood in front of all her guest as the candles were lit. "Now Elizabeth, on the count of three, you shall make a wish on your birthday cake and blow out the candles." Her cheeks blossomed, as her betrothed stood beside her. "Ready? One…two…three!" She closed her eyes and wiggled her nose. _"I wish for Ciel to be happy…" _ And in an instant, blew out her candles. They clapped for her and Paula rang her bells. She was truly happy on this day and couldn't ask for more. Soon after cake, music began to play from the entertainment that had been hired. Ciel walked over to the birthday girl, and held out his hand. "Will you honor me with a dance?" he asked. She looked up at him from her seat, and grabbed his hand. As the music played, they were the only ones to twirl and dance on the floor. As the night when on, more and more graced their presence with dance. "I love this night, Ciel," she spoke, "This is the greatest present anyone could have given me." "But it isn't over." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a box. Her eyes lit up as he opened it and pulled out the deep blue necklace. "Oh Ciel! I love it!" She turned around and placed her hand upon it as he put it around her neck. "Now, we shall have matching pieces," he said, "My ring to your necklace." She smiled, not letting the piece go. Gradually, her happiness began to fade. "Ciel, I have to tell you something…" she spoke. He looked at her, noticing that she was no longer bubbly as she usually was. He held her hands, hoping that this would please her.

From across the room, Sebastian watched as the young master held his beloved. He smiled, for he was happy for them and realized his feelings would never be brought into reality. _"I am merely a demon butler," _he reminded himself while stepping away from the party. He had finally realized that what he hoped for was a fantasy and would never happen. _"We are sworn only by contract. And at the end of our agreement, I shall devour his soul." _His chest became enflamed with pain; he had held in his craving for so long, only to be brought back to the state he should have never left. _"He cannot love me," _he repeated to himself. He was shot down from his desires, deeper than what the naked eye could see. _"He is a noble. For I am nothing but a beast…"_

"What is it, Elizabeth?" He grew concerned as they stood there in the middle of the dance floor with their guest, spinning and twirling around them. "I am leaving…" Just then, the music stopped, the hands applauded around them, and they returned to their seats. The two of them remained standing, confronted with a painful truth. "Leaving?" he repeated, "What do you mean, leaving? Going where?" She looked into his dark blue pools and tried her best to remain cute for him, not letting her tears become evident. "My mother is sending me to an all girl's prep school in Germany, where I shall learn many of things that I cannot learn here." His heart stopped for a moment, it seemed as if time did as well. He had finally realized that he had cared for her the way she cared for him, only to have her leave his grasp. "F-For how long?" "3 years…" "3 years?" He became enraged. How could they take her away like that? The only one left who truly loved him. "I shall be back for the holidays, like this coming Christmas and Thanksgiving, and Halloween and New Years as well." He dropped to his knees. His pain of abandonment filled him as he held her hands tightly. She dropped down along with him, for it was hard for her to deliver this news, and if she had her way, she would stay. "I'm so sorry, Ciel," she spoke to him while her face poured with overflowing regret, "I don't want to leave. I'll miss you so much." He looked at her, her face now buried in her hands. He smiled and pulled up her face. "Please don't cry," he requested, "I shall miss you. That is all. Halloween isn't too far away now is it?" She smiled and wiped her face. He stood and helped her to her feet. "When do you leave?" He asked. "In a week," she answered. "Then I shall take you on a joyous picnic the day before and take you to the docks on that morning to see you off." She smiled and hugged him tightly. His mouth turned into a grin, and he slowly returned her gesture. "Would you do that for me, Ciel?" He held her tighter, not caring about the tears that dripped onto his jacket. "Yes, you are a birthday princess and I shall teach you as such." Sebastian walked back into the ballroom to see them embracing each other in the middle of the room. He watched as the young master pulled apart from her and kissed her on the cheek. He smiled, for he was happy for them, no matter how much pain it caused on the inside.

Night covered the sky and the moon rose high as the guest began to leave. Ciel, himself, escorted Lady Elizabeth into her carriage. "Thank you so much, Ciel," she spoke, "I loved it all." He kissed her rose blossom cheeks once more as she secured herself in her seat across from Paula. "I shall come and pick you up from your manor next week," he said with a smile, "Just make sure you look cute for me." She blushed a little more and smiled as hard as she could. "Right!" He closed her door, and she was off, trolling down the candlelit pathway into the night. As they watched her chariot disappear into the forest, Ciel's smile disappeared along with it. "Sebastian…" he called out, standing beside him. "Run me a bath. I need to soak after such a night." He walked into the manor and his butler bowed. "I am your butler," he stated, "and I shall do as you wish."

Before the night was over and after Sebastian had put him to bed, Ciel walked out onto the porch with a small candle, wrapped in a bow and a small piece of cake. He looked to the sky and embraced the cold night's presence. "I didn't want you to think I forgot today," he spoke aloud, looking up into the star filled sky. The brightest star twinkled, as if it knew he was addressing it. "Today has just been so busy." He took a seat on the step and sat down the candle, and placed the cake in his lap. Lifting a forkful to the sky, he spoke, "Here's to you on your special day" and took a bite. He slowly placed the bow wrapped candle on top of the slice and watched the fire burn. "Happy birthday, mother…" And as a smile came across his face and a tear down his eye, a strong gust of wind blew past him, carrying the flame and his tear along with it.


	7. A Different Side

A Different Side

It was the day of Lady Elizabeth's departure from England toward her new beginning in Germany. As Ciel had promised, he picked her up the day before and took her on a long boat ride. Just the two of them, well ignoring the fact that Sebastian was navigating the boat of course. He had seen her off, and just before she placed her foot on the walkway leading to its bow, she kissed him, dead on his rose petals. He had never received a gesture from a girl, let alone his betrothed. She stepped back and smiled at him. His cheeks bloomed and he smiled back. He kept picturing her smiling face while he enjoyed the ride back to the manor. Things weren't going to be the same without her bubbly antics and over-the-top emotion. He couldn't help but miss her. _"It's funny," _he thought to himself while his butler quietly sat across from him, _"When she's home and isn't near me, I could care less what she's doing. As long as she's alright." _The carriage road over a bump and the trip continued. _"Though…now that I watch her get on that boat, and the thought of her not being where I can get to her quickly. I miss her much. Lizzie…" _His butler noticed his silence and pushed to break it. "Is there anything specific you would like for your afternoon tea, my lord?" he spoke. Ciel remained quiet for a moment, not yet grasping the question he was being asked. "No," he answered, keeping his eyes away from him, "Anything you prepare is fine." Sebastian watched as the despair in his master's face became obvious. He accompanied him, and looked out at the passing scenery. Though his body screamed for him to take this opportunity and confess himself, he had begun to bury his feelings deep down and just accept what would never be.

**The day before:** Ceil had held Elizabeth's hand since the time she sat in the chariot. Though it was her sake as well as his, it was mostly because he didn't know how long it would be until he would touch her skin again. "It is a wonderful day for a picnic, Ciel," Elizabeth spoke, keeping her smile her face. "Yes, it is," he replied, not as enthusiastic as she was. Truthfully, he would rather be in his study, completing the paperwork that he had been weeks behind in. Yet, he did enjoy her smile. He had always enjoyed it. As they arrived closer to the bay, she let go of his hand and almost jumped out of her seat to get to the opening in the door. "Oh look, Ciel!" she spoke, with her head hanging out of the opening, "There is a family of ducks on the water." "Get back in here, Elizabeth, or you shall fall." She sat down and turned to him. "Oh, come on, Ciel," she said, "Aren't you happy?" He grabbed a hold of her hand again, and smiled as the carriage came to a standstill. "Yes, Lizzie. I am very happy."

**Present:** Ciel steps out of his carriage and goes into the manor, with his butler following close behind. "I shall get right away on the preparations on dinner and your evening tea, young master," he spoke to him, "Shall you been eating in your study today again?" "Yes," he answered while continuing up the steps, "Afterward, take the rest of the day off. I don't want to be bothered." Sebastian's eyes widened; he had never been asked to take the day off before. It seemed as if Lady Elizabeth's departure had truly gotten to the young master. The butler smiles and bows toward him, "Yes, my young lord". Ciel closed the study door behind him, went behind his desk and plopped on his chair. A stack of papers sat upon his desk, waiting for his overview and sign off. He looked down at them, and just couldn't get focused on the task at hand. _"She was the only one left who truly cared," _he said to himself, _"Everyone else is gone, yet she always stayed loyal to me. And just like my parents and Aunt Anne, she's gone too." _Though she had been alive and well when he had left her in the time before, he felt as if no matter where she was, he could not reach her. He was once again alone, to face the turmoil of his life and deal with the nightmares.

**The day before**: Sebastian fluffed out a picnic blanket in the middle of green grass, a few feet from the bay. She wanted to be as close as possible to the ducks where she wouldn't miss anything without being close to the water. Since this was her day, Ciel had labeled, it was placed where she wished. After the long ride, the two were famished and lunch was served. They sat under a shady tree and enjoyed the warm breeze. It was quiet, for no one had anything to say. Ciel bit into his sandwich as Elizabeth watched him. "Will you miss me, Ciel?" she asked. He swallowed his food and looked at her. "You'll be coming back soon so it isn't like you are going to the far end of the world." Her smile disappeared. He had returned back to his closed, intolerable self and she had had enough of it. "Why won't you be happy, Ciel?" she asked again. He looked into her green pools of life and thought about her words. "What are you saying?" he asked back. "I try my hardest to make you happy," she stated, "I smile for you. No matter how you feel, I smile for you. I try my hardest to understand your feelings, even you make fun of my silly ways. I know I can be emotional and childish at most, but I try my best to make you happy. And now, as you betrothed, I sit before, leaving you behind for my new beginning and you are not happy, even sitting here with me on this gorgeous day." He looked down at the quilt under them. "How can I be happy when you are leaving me here?" he asked, looking back at her.

**Present:** The earl, finally focused, spent most of his time in his room. He tried his best to remain that way, at least until dinner. Sebastian arrived to his door with the afternoon tea, a few moments late. "Young master," he spoke while walking in, "I'm here with the afternoon tea." "This isn't like you, Sebastian," he stated, "You've never been late before. What's wrong with you?" Sebastian smiled at him and looked down and began to pour his tea. "Nothing, my lord," he said, placing the tea cup in front of him, "I do get tired sometimes." "Then sit down." "No, I will be alright…" "Sit…down!" His voice sharped. He pulled out the chair from the other side of the desk and took a seat. "You seem very antsy," Sebastian pointed out, "Is something wrong?" "I just…" Ciel put down his tea cup and rubbed the ring that displayed on his thumb. "My life was changed that night on my birthday, three years ago. Yet, Elizabeth remained the same. It's almost as if I enjoyed her company." The butler smirked. "Maybe you did," he insisted while pushing his feelings down even further, "You may have even loved her the way she loved you." Ciel looked at him, his face unconvinced. He couldn't even speak on it. How did he know what love was? Elizabeth had been around him since he was young, so he assumed that was the way she was. "That will be all, Sebastian…" His demonic companion stood and bowed toward him. "Of course, my young master," he spoke, "Dinner shall be ready soon."

**The day before:** "Ciel…" His eyes began to water. She had never seen him like this; never seen him cry. He clutched up his fist and looked down at his knees. "You're the only one I have left…" "What about Sebastian?" He snapped his head up toward her, his deep blue eye puffed and his cheeks scarlet from his tears. "He is a butler!" Sebastian sat several feet away, watching the ducks swim in the pond. He granted them with privacy and stayed away. "He knows nothing of how it is to feel alone!" His voice broken from his emotion. His sensitiveness had taken over. Elizabeth smiled; the sun beginning to dim. She loved this side of him, even seeing him so torn apart. "Shall you dance with me, Ciel?" she asked as she wiped his eyes. He released the frustration from his hands, his face puzzled. "What?" "You always tell me that a lady shouldn't have her face a mess, especially one who he wishes to dance with." Her smile became full; she just wanted to make him happy. "Shall you dance with me?" He smiled, and sniffled. Then they giggled. "Yes, Lizzie." Their laughs got louder, over shadowing the pain. Even after her laughed had stopped, Ciel's continued. She watched as his tears of pain became rivers of joy. He didn't really know why he was laughing. He could just remember how upset she had gotten the week before, and how happy she was once she stepped through the door. For a moment, he was just happy. Even if it were just for a moment.

**Present:** "Checkmate." Ciel had been playing himself in chess for a while now. Dinner was brought up to him, and he enjoyed it alone. Though Sebastian had pushed back his feelings for the teen, he couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him. He had never been so vulnerable. _"Humans," _he thought to himself, _"So fragile in their emotions. I find it repulsive." _He smirked. Who was he kidding? He felt like Elizabeth whenever the teen was around. To watch him progress and overcome his struggles made him envious. He hadn't truly even cared about his soul, only his revenge. He ran his hand through his raven colored hair and checked his pocket watch. The day had passed them by and Ciel's sulking made it move faster. He walked into the study to see him, continuing his chess game. "It's time for bed, young master." "Play with me, Sebastian…" His words sent shivers through the demon's entire body. His sweet voice rang through him like bells. "What?" "Play a game of chess," Ciel repeated, "I need someone to play with." He checked his watch again and smiled. There was no need to fight him on his demand. It wasn't too late, and if this brought him from his funk, then he would accommodate him. "I would be honored, my lord," he spoke, while Ciel smirked as the demon takes his seat across from him.

**The day before: **The sun set and they had giggled all day. This was truly the only day that Ciel Phantomhive was at peace. He had just finished tickling her and lay back on the cloth, laughing himself. He held his hands on his stomach, staring at the orange and purple sky. "This was wonderful, Ciel," she spoke, as she sat up, "Thank you so much." Ciel raised himself. _"I wish days could always be this easy," _he thought, staring off onto the bay. The boat sat right in front of them. The time had passed them by and they had forgotten about it. _"Where things could be simple again. Where I could enjoy being a child…" _He smiled. "Sebastian…" he called out. The butler slowly walked over toward them. "Yes, young master." "We're ready for our boat ride now," he spoke. "Ciel, the sun has set already," Elizabeth contested. "I must agree," His companion added, "It is getting rather late. I think we should be getting Lady Elizabeth home." Ciel grabbed a hold of Elizabeth's hand. "Please, Lizzie," he pleaded, "This day makes me truly happy." Her face began to give off a joyous glow. "Really?" she asked, "Does this make you happy, Ciel?" He nodded his head and smiled. "Then, as your fiancée and future wife, I shall make you happy." She turned to look up to her older counterpart. "Sebastian, please take us down the bay," she stated, looking back into Ciel's visible eye. "It is what will make my husband happy."

**Present: **This game had gone on for what seemed like forever. I seemed as if young Phantomhive had finally met his match. He stared at the chess board, wondering on his next move, when finally he saw an opening. With one gesture, he delivered the final blow. "Checkmate." Sebastian double checked his call. "Very nice, young master," Sebastian spoke, "Your chess skills have grown wonderfully. You may become a champion." He looked up from the game to see Ciel smiling and looking out the window. He was truly enjoying himself. Sebastian loved the look on his face. His eye glowed in the candle light, with the moon accenting the shape of it. "Young master," he spoke, "Are you smiling?" He had never seen him like this, and he enjoyed it. "What?" his cheeks blushed as he turned toward him, "No. Must have been the angle of my face from over there." "I do believe it was a smile…" "Shut up, Sebastian." He lifted himself from his chair and headed toward the door. "Clean this up and meet me in my room. I'm ready for bed." Sebastian's smile never parted his face. He had no idea what made him smile so much the day before but he loved the way his smile looked on him.

After cleaning, the butler heads to his master's room to see him undressing. His skin and brand exposed. His palms got sweaty; his urges returned. He bit his fist, trying not to make a sound. He took in a deep breath and relaxed himself, and began to giggle to disguise his wants. "What are you doing, young master?" he asked as the young one turned toward him. "You were taking too long." He had taken off his eye patch and his eyes shined even more in the candle that was in his butler's hand. _"Ciel…" _"What are you staring at?" he asked. He got his thoughts together. "You, my lord," he answered while putting his night shirt on him, "You look so adorable putting on your clothes all by yourself." Crimson covered Ciel's face while he plopped down on his bed. "Oh, shut up." His demonic companion buttoned his shirt and took off his socks. The young one crawled under his comforter and yawned. "I shall leave you to your rest," his butler spoke while bowing to him. "Good night, young master." He blew out the candles and closed the door behind him. He formed a fist and bit into it. _"Just when I thought I had this under control, he temps me. Yet, I shall do my best to reframe myself." _Sebastian slides the pawn chess piece out of his sleeve and continues down the hallway. _"For as his butler, and I will do anything to make him happy." _


	8. Master's Gift

Master's gift

As the year drew its end, and the leaves change and fall, things become more relaxed around the Phantomhive manor. Well at least, they were. The brisk mid-September air had started to caress Ciel's face as he was carried home by his demon butler. Some intruders had come and kidnapped the young master and it was the butler's job to clean up the mess. "You should really be more careful next time," he spoke, carrying the young Earl in his arms like a baby. "I don't need your permission to walk outside of my own manor," Ciel protested, "I am the Earl of Phantomhive. I do as I please."

They arrived to the manor, and Sebastian followed Ciel up to his bedroom. His clothes had been damaged and stained with his blood, and he needed to change. "Shall I help you, young master?" the butler asked. "No," he answered, "I can do it on my own." To watch the young master struggle pleased the demon. He smiled at his turmoil; no matter how bad it had gotten, he would never ask for help. "You couldn't have come to get me sooner?" he asked, taking off his shirt and throwing it on the floor. "Your scent was lost in the others," his butler spoke, "Especially with you being surrounded by blood and dead animals." He turned around toward him. "Are you saying you can't find me when I'm in a slaughter house, surrounded by swine?" It seemed as if the conversation began to get heated. Sebastian tried his best to keep his composure but began to become enraged. "Young master, if you were more careful…" "More careful?" Ciel stopped putting on his clothes and stood across the room, "This is my manor! Let them come if they please. All you smell is death and blood. What kind of butler are you if you can't protect me?!" Sebastian clenched up his fist, and tried his best not to over react. "You're just a beast!" Within an instant, Sebastian was across the room, with his hand around Ciel's neck. For a moment, he was a beast, as he began to tighten his grip around the young one's neck. Ciel reached up and grabbed his hand, trying so hard to gasp for air. _"Se-Sebastian…" _His voice shaken by the lack of oxygen. The one young's voice reach the demon's ears and he snapped back into his normal state. He realized how hard he had been squeezing and quickly let go. Any longer and the young Earl would've had an asthma attack or even worse, would've snapped his neck. He held his hands up and the young dropped to the ground and tried to expand his windpipe. "I-I'm so sorry, Ciel…" He looked up at him, with his mix matched eyes, stunned that he would betray him. "I'm so sorry…" Sebastian removed his Phantomhive pin from his shirt. "I am not fit to be the Phantomhive butler." He placed the button on the night stand and exited the room.

Ciel laid there on the ground, in shock for what just happened. He didn't break the contract, so they were still forever bounded. The fact that he could let his instincts get the better of him like that seemed almost as a disappointment. And as he sat there to ponder his thoughts a little longer, he realized that it was maybe him who did something wrong. _"Why did I say those things to him?" _He was alone and he continued to push the only people who had been close to him away. He balled his fist and punched into the wooden floor below him. He unfolded his hand, his knuckles bloody from the impact. His eyes began to fill with sorrow and regret. His held his face in his hands and he released his pain alone in his room. Sebastian had never even thought of laying a hand on him, and he pushed him to this point. His voice still broken by the pain and breathing that hadn't been caught up yet, _"I'm sorry, Sebastian. Please come back." _Ciel had felt as if his companion had truly gotten tired of the way he treated him, while he finally realized he was more than a demon butler or his protector. He was his friend.

Sebastian walked outside and continued walking until he had come into the middle of the forest. He grabbed his head. What was wrong with him? His anger had become overbearing and he let out a vicious scream. He cared for the teen so much, how could he lay hands on him like that? Was he just a beast after all? He couldn't back to the manor, not just yet. His head had been out of order, along with his emotions; this being evident after a while. "What is wrong with me?!" he screamed, dropping to his knees. Crimson tears flooded from the demon's eyes. He had truly become attached to his master and couldn't stand doing such a thing to him. He speaks in whispers, his voice masked from the sound of his pain. _"I want to love him…I want to tell him how I feel." _If anyone was to hear this, he would be considered a fool. Demons don't love and most certainly didn't get connected to their prey. "I'm so sorry," he whimpered, this pain of holding it all back consumed him. It seemed that piling how he felt for the young master on top of his demonic urges was hard enough to control. It was almost as if being called a beast was the last breaking point. He could bottle these feelings all back up. He had already accepted what was to never come. He looked below him, the ground being stained with the tears of his sorrow. "Ciel…"

The day continues and with the situation gradually calming itself, and Sebastian returned to the manor. It was time for the young master's dinner to be prepared. He arrived in the kitchen to see the three of them, trying to make their own version of dinner, yet having lots of trouble. "Oh, Sebastian…" Baldroy dropped the spoon and awaited his punishment. "I know I wasn't supposed to touch the sweets." The butler slowly bypasses them and starts dinner. "Finian," he spoke, "I would like you to deliver the dinner to the young master tonight." Finny turned and watched as he held his head in shame heading to the ingredients laying on the table. "U-Um…ok, Sebastian." "Bard, just tell me what you were trying to make and I'll assist you." The three of them were shocked. What had gotten into him? Usually around this time, he would've kicked the three of them out of the kitchen the moment he stepped his foot into the door. "I wanted to try my hand making a red velvet cake for the young master, where it was big enough for us to have some. But the consistency of the batter is off and I don't know what I'm missing…" "Did you add eggs?" Bard stopped and thought. "Yea, but only one…" "Add two more." Feeling weird from this sudden appreciation toward him, he added two more eggs to the batter and began to whip again. "It's perfect, Sebastian. Thank you." Sebastian never took his eyes off of the vegetables he had been cutting. "The batter should be red," he added, "So add vanilla extract and crush up some strawberries and add it as well." Baldroy turned to him, his head never moved. "What's wrong, Sebastian?" he asked. "Mey Rin…" he called out to her, "Come help me with dinner." She dropped to her knees. "Mr. Sebastian….Why I…" "I just need you to come help me cook," the butler stated, "Nothing fancy. You don't have to setup the table all the time." She smiled and got off the floor. They all remained surprised, yet they loved helping him. "Wash your hands." Dinner was prepared and the three were happy once the cake was completed, even though they know the young master got the first piece.

The young Earl came down the steps after being escorted by Tanaka, who had returned to his old self just to fetch the young one. He sat at the head of the table, as the three servants stood behind him. "Where's Finny?" he asked. As he turned toward them, Finny walked out, rolling out his dinner and dessert. "I'm here, young master," he spoke, coming up to the table, "Tonight, you have a pot roast with roasted carrots and garnished potatoes and for dessert, a velvet cake with cream cheese icing." The Earl looked up to them. He was shocked. "You made this?" "No, sir," he spoke with a smile, "Mey Rin did." He turned toward her; her face blossomed from the accomplishment and acknowledgement. The young one took in a big gulp, for he had no idea what to expect. He slowly cut his food, and hesitantly, took a bite. His eyes widened with such flavor and preparation that displayed in his mouth. "This is great, Mey Rin," he stated as she giggled. "Thank you, young master. Sebastian watched as I did it all." _"He was here?" _Ciel turned back toward the table. "Where is he now?" he asked. "He said he had something he had to do. So he told me to deliver dinner, showed Mey Rin how to make it, and left Bard in change of dessert." _"Baldroy!" _He turned to look at the cart and the cake that was presented. The edges hadn't been scorched, nor the icing melted in anyway. "I am impressed," he stated, "I will be happy to try it." He slowly continued his food as his servants stood near him. For a moment, he stared at his plate. He wasn't alone. Though they were hired to protect and serve in the manor, they would do anything he asked. Not because it was their jobs, but because he gave them a place to call home. He gave them a place to come out of their trouble in the world and they looked at him as a dearest friend. If he had begun to consider Sebastian as a dearest companion, why not think of the others as well. "Please…" he called out to them, "Come join me." They looked at each other with surprise. "You mean, come eat with you, master?" "Do I need to repeat myself?" he spoke, taking in another forkful, "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity so I suggest you take it." They were pleased. They loved being able to eat at the same table as the young master. They didn't know what was going on, but they enjoyed this. "I'll get the dishes!" "No, Mey Rin," Baldroy stopped her, "I'll get them. Finny, get the wine. Mey Rin…sit down." She blushed. The two of them knew how hard it was to complete daily task, as much as they all did, and decided for her to take it easy. They came out and served her, followed by themselves. They sat there and giggled, happy from this joyous occasion, complimenting Mey Rin on her wondrous first try on cooking. Ciel couldn't help but laugh along with them. They all lived there together, why not embrace them once in a while? Sebastian had gone unappreciated as well. He had to make it up to him. All of them, including Tanaka, enjoyed Baldroy's lovely take on his red velvet cake, for it was cooked to perfection. In the middle of their eating, Finny stood up with his glass. "I'd like to propose a toast," he spoke with a smile as they all became silent. He looked to the young master for approval, and with his nod, he continued. "To serving the Phantomhive manor, from now until forever. To protecting our home." They all cheers, and Mey Rin stood. "To teamwork." Followed by Baldroy. "To mischief." After watching them all, the young master stood, "To friends." They gasped as he presented a grin and they giggled even more. "To friends!"

Ciel returned to his study as they cleaned up the mess. He walked in his room to see Sebastian, sitting on his window pane. "Sebastian…" The demon butler turned toward him, and stood. "Young master…" For a moment, there was silence. They had nothing to say. "Young master, I…" "No," Ciel interrupted, "You need not say anything." He reached in his pocket and held out a piece of paper toward the butler. Sebastian walked toward him, and took the gesturing, opening it and see what was inside. "What is this, my lord?" "It is a pass," he spoke, "Whenever you feel you need a break or something you would like to do, you will come to me and cash it in. No matter when or what it is you request, I shall not turn it down." The demon's mouth turned, slowly presenting into a smile. He got down on one knee and bowed toward his master. "Thank you, my lord," he spoke, "This is a most appreciated gift." Ciel slowly grinned, trying his best to hide it from him. "Now," he spoke while bending down and placing the Phantomhive pin on his jacket, "Shall you put me to bed? I am rather tired." It was like music to the demon's ears, to be addressed as something more than a beast. Ciel smiled, no longer being able to hide it. "Of course, my lord," he spoke, getting off the floor, "For that is the Phantomhive way." Ciel held out his arms, and his butler turned around, putting the young one on his back. As they stroll down the hallway, the butler spoke. "You seem like you missed me, young master." Ciel blushed, with the older one not being able to see it. "Don't ruin it, Sebastian." The butler could hear his embarrassment in his voice and held onto the young master tighter. _"It's ok," _he thought, while walking into the young Earl's bedroom and closing the door behind them, _"I missed you too…" _


	9. Somebody Else

Somebody Else

The temperature continued to drop, and the leaves change. The warm days were rare, and so were the visits outside. All seemed normal in London because the Queen's letters hadn't come in some time. Ciel filled the empty void of activity with his shooting practice, which Sebastian assisted with. Things had seem to be ok between the servant and his master, yet both were content with getting too close to one another. For Ciel, it was because he didn't know what button he would push next. For Sebastian, it was because he didn't want to get hurt.

"Another!" Sebastian had gone out and purchased new dishes, so they decided to put the old ones into good use. The demon chucks the old dish into the air, and it goes flying. The young Earl, squinting his eyes, readied his aim and fired. The saucer shatters and Sebastian smiles. "Good shot, young master," he spoke as Ciel looked up to watch the pieces scatter. "It isn't too hard." Sebastian readies the next dish and Ciel stops him. "No, not that one!" Sebastian looks down at the piece, then to his master. "Young lord," he spoke, "This dish is very old and chipped." "Not that one," Ciel repeated, "It was my mother's." Sebastian bowed toward him, "As you wish", and placed the plate in the box where the others lay. "Another!" Sebastian picks another one, and throws into the air. And as the young one gets ready to pull the trigger, he hears a familiar voice. "Ciel!" The screech scares him and he fires, missing his target. Ciel turns to see Elizabeth, running from the back porch and coming toward him. He couldn't believe his eyes. What was she doing there? "Oh, I've missed you so, Ciel!" She grabs hold of him and tightens her grip. "L-Lizzie…" Sebastian is also shocked. He hadn't expected her planned surprise visit for another two days. "Ciel, why aren't you holding me?" He stood there stunned, with his rifle in his hand, held against his leg. "W-What are you doing here, Elizabeth?" She pulls away from him and looks into his eye. "I was going to surprise you and was supposed to arrive at a later time. But there was an earlier boat…so here I am." She grabs hold of him again. "Haven't you missed me?" Ciel slowly drops the rifle to the ground and wraps his arms around her. "Hello, Elizabeth," he spoke to her, "I have missed you also." Sebastian smiled as he looked at the young couple embrace. He longed to have the young master hold him the way he held Lady Elizabeth, but he knew it would never be. The butler cleared his throat. "Oh, hello Sebastian…" He walked closer toward them. "Good afternoon, Lady Elizabeth," he said to her, "Your surprise is a little early." Ciel turned to him. "You knew?" He smiled a bit harder. "Why, of course, my lord," he said, "It was a surprise for you. And the Phantomhive butler is the best at surprises." Elizabeth giggled; she was so happy to see him. "I suggest we have lunch a little early, young master," Sebastian stated, "Since Lady Elizabeth is visiting, and this is a special occasion." "Yes," he agreed, grabbing a hold of her hand and walking toward the manor entrance. "Come, Elizabeth. Tell me all about Germany and your trip."

Sebastian prepared and served lunch. Ciel decided to eat with Elizabeth in the dining area. She had pulled up a chair on his side of the table to be closer to him. "Oh, Ciel," she started, "Germany is so pretty this time of year. The leaves are gorgeous, and they have so many different kinds of spices that I've never tried. I have so many friends at school." "Yes, yes," he interrupted, "But what are you doing here? There's no holiday coming up." "Halloween is in two weeks silly." Ciel sat and thought about what day it was. _"Ah, yes," _he thought, _"Madame Red's favorite holiday." _He ate another forkful of food and addressed Elizabeth again. "Yes, but that is two weeks from now." She smiled while sipping her tea. "I'm here to pick out a costume," she explained, "They don't celebrate Halloween like we celebrate Halloween. Though there are lots of English children at school, they have all come back early to pick their costumes and I didn't want to alone."

Ciel continued eating his food, as her smile disappeared. "Ciel, I have to tell you something." He stopped, and looked at her. He could tell something was wrong. "What is it?" She moved her hair from her face and took in a deep breath. "There's this boy, Ciel," she started to explain, "And he likes me. We have the same classes together and he's been very nice to me since I arrived." Ciel kept looking at her; he hadn't the slightest idea where this was going. She was a pretty girl, going to a new school and she makes people want to know her with her outgoing personality: what was the problem? "He kissed me…" He dropped his fork and become instantly pissed off. "He what?!" "I told him I was arranged to be married and he apologized but he's so nice. There is a get together soon at the school and that's why I'm here early because my parents will come visit my school with me." His blood boiled; he couldn't get to him and he tried his best not to be upset at her personally. "I wanted to tell you this in person," she added. His hand twitched; he wanted to put it through something. "Is there's more?" he asked. She took in another deep breath and looked away from him. "I-I like him, Ciel…" He punched the table. He felt those words; he knew they were coming before she even spoke them. "We are to be married and you have feelings for someone else?!" He couldn't control this anger. Sebastian had come from the kitchen to make sure everything was ok. For Ciel, this pain was worse than what he felt when she broke his parents' ring for the first time. "Are you angry with me?" "Am I angry?!" His voice reaching its peak, his nerves shaken from this thing that upset him. He pushed his plate from the table, causing it to fly toward the wall. Sebastian stepped in the line of its direction and caught it, inches before its impact. "Young master," he spoke, "I assume you're done with lunch, sir." Ciel looked down at Elizabeth, and noticed that her eyes began to water. He took in a deep breath and unclenched his fist. "Yes," he spoke, "I'm done. I'll be in the study." He began to walk away, leaving his betrothed at the table alone. "I shall come with you, Ciel…" "I want to be alone." He started up the stepped as she released her sorrow. Sebastian walked to the table and handed her a tissue. "Excuse my master, Milady," he said in his master's defense, "He can't control certain things like this. He has come to have the same feelings you have for him and isn't too pleased to know there is competition." Elizabeth began to get herself together. _"Is this true? Do you feel the same for me?" _she thought, watching the butler clear the table and return to the kitchen, _"Do you love me, Ciel?" _

Ciel walked into his study, infuriated and unable to calm down. "How could she?!" He kept repeating to himself. Sebastian soon came in behind him and closed the door. "Is something bothering you, master?" the butler asked, not indicating that he knew anything. "Nothing," he fibbed, "Now, leave me alone." "Why do you lie to me, my lord?" he spoke, walking over toward the desk and taking a seat, "I know something's wrong." Ciel tried his best to calm down yet was unsuccessful. "She told me she had feelings for someone else at her school," he stated, "And I'm pissed because I can't shove my fist down his throat without taking a boat ride to a different country or upsetting her." Sebastian grinned. "But why does this upset you, my lord?" he asked, "It doesn't seem as if you care for her the way she cares you." Ciel looked at him. "What do you mean why?" he exclaimed, "She's my fiancée and she has feelings for someone else. I think that's grounds to be upset." "But you don't care for her the way she cares for you," his butler repeated, "Is the reason that the two of you will be married really the only reason you care about this situation?" Ciel slowed his breathing and gave this question some thought. "Well, I…" He didn't have an answer. Why was he so jealous? "Perhaps I do feel the same for her," Ciel confessed, "But I'm not sure of this feeling."

Sebastian's heart sank a little deeper in his chest, yet he couldn't let this be evident. This wasn't about him, this was about saving the young master's relationship. "How do you feel, sir?" he asked. Ciel sat behind his desk and sank into his seat. "Well, you know," he stated, "The way anyone feels for their fiancée." "No, I don't know," he exclaimed, "I don't know how humans feels for someone in this state. Especially in arranged marriages. So please, tell me, how do you feel about Lady Elizabeth?" Ciel got quiet and remained that way for a while. "I-I'm not sure," Ciel spoke, "It's been so long since I've truly loved someone or something, I've forgotten how to love." Sebastian smiled. "You can't forget how to love, young master," his butler stated, "You can only learn to suppress it." The demon looked down at his hands. "After a while, this feeling…it becomes unbearable that you can no longer hold it back." Ciel looked up at him and wondered where these thought had come from. _"He did say he had loved someone," _Ciel thought, _"But that it was a long time ago. Yet, these feelings are still fresh to him." _Sebastian looked up to see his master staring at him. "Do you love her, young master?" he asked. Ciel took in a deep breath and took a second to think. "Yes…" Sebastian smiled, sucking in this painful truth. "Yes, I love Elizabeth," Ciel repeated. "Then, tell her," he spoke, "She needs to hear. She doesn't know how you feel, and that's why there are conflicts in her feelings now." Ciel smiled. _"I love Elizabeth…" _ He smiled harder, finally accepting the way he felt about her. "Ok," he spoke as his butler stood, "I shall tell her." "I would hope you tell her right away, my lord," Sebastian spoke, "Her carriage just arrived." Had it been that long? Was this just a short visit? Would she be back?

Ciel ran from his study, heading down the steps to see the door wide open. He hurried to the door to see Elizabeth going down the steps. "Where are you going?" he called out to her. "I have to get back to my mother," she spoke, "We have a lot of shopping to do and I will only be here this week, and my days are full." "Can't auntie wait?" he asked. Her eyes widened, he had never acted like this. "No," she spoke again, turning from him, "I have to go." He walked down the steps and grabbed her hand. "Then, let me do this now before you go," he exclaimed as she turned toward him. He grabbed her cheeks and pulled her in close, kissing her soft lips. Her eyes remained open, her cheeks flamed. Sebastian walked to the door to see them again. _"This was all I needed to know," _he thought while walking away and beginning the preparations for dinner. He pulled away from her and stared into her jade eyes. "I love you, Elizabeth…" Her heart stopped. He had never spoken those words to her before. With it being so short in time, she couldn't even stay to see if this feeling was real. She backed away from him. "You're only saying that because of what I told you," She stated, beginning to tear up, "You've never spoken this to me before and now that I am leaving, you want to embrace me." "And I am truly sorry for that," Ciel exclaimed, "Ever since that day, I have been so bitter toward you when you have been the only one who has been by my side through it all. I love you so much and will happy when you become my wife." "Ciel…" She began to cry and displayed a smile. "I have waited for you to say that for so long." He put his hand on her face again and kissed her lips again. He truly missed her, and wished she could stay longer. "I have to go." He smiled. "Ok." He walked her to her carriage, and proceeded to close her door. "When will I see you again?" "I can come Friday, when I'm done shopping." His smile remained. "Friday, then." He kissed her one more time, and looked into her eyes. "I love you, Lizze." "I love you, too, Ciel," she spoke as her chariot slowly pulled away.

Ciel headed to his bedroom, his head filled with satisfaction. He had finally remembered what love felt like and he enjoyed it. It made him miss his parents and the way he used to be toward Elizabeth. Sometimes, he felt as if his soul had already been taken; for no matter how much he tried to change his feelings, he always went back to his irritable state. Sebastian entered his room to find the young master, lying on his bed barely awake. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you, my lord," he spoke, beginning to back out of the room. "Please, Sebastian," the young called out, "Stay with me." Sebastian's mind flashes back to his dream and smiles. "Of course, young master." He steps into his room, not hoping for his fantasy to come true, but loving that his master was starting to be open with him again. He sat on his bed and caressed his raven colored hair. "I apologize for the way I've acted, young master," Sebastian said, "It was…beastly of me." Ciel closed his eyes as the demon continued to rub his head. "It's alright," he stated, "Just…stay with me until I fall asleep. I'm very tired." Sebastian smiled. "Of course, young lord," he spoke, "I shall stay by your side until the very end." Ciel slowly drifted to sleep and rested upon his bed, gripping his pillow. Sebastian gently lifted himself from the bed after a few minutes of waiting and made his way toward the kitchen to continue dinner. His smile remained, even as he cooked, thinking of the innocence the young one displayed and wishing he could join him in his bed.


	10. Three Years

Three Years

Months passed, and snow began to cover the ground. The holidays were coming up, and things hadn't gotten easier for the young Earl. It seemed like every day, more and more paperwork was trying to be pushed for new releases of products at the Funtom toy company. Kids begged their mommies and daddies for toys, and only wanted Funtom. Each day, the Earl was left exhausted and hand cramping from countless meetings, requests and releases. He rested in his chair behind his desk, often falling asleep and needing Sebastian to carry him into his room.

On this day, the young Earl did not take exception. He had a lot to do today and he was determined to complete it. No signs of trouble from the Queen and no surprise visits from Elizabeth; he would hopefully have complete peace and quiet. Sebastian walked into his room, and opened the blinds as he usually did. "Good morning, young master," he called out to him, "It's time to get out of bed now." Ciel yawned, blinded by the quick burst of light. He had another night of restlessness, filled with tossing, turning and unpleasant dreams. "Another day full of work," the young Earl said to himself as he threw himself over the edge of his bed and was handed his tea. "For today's breakfast, you have a fruit parfait with strawberries, mangos and blackberries drizzled in icing and a breakfast brew tea," his butler spoke while he removed his undergarments and replacing them with his daily wardrobe. "All I would like today is some quiet," Ciel spoke, looking at his butler, "And to not hear those words. Can I have that today?" Sebastian smiled, for he knew what words he mentioned and was going to have them part his lips as he left. "Yes, my lord," he agreed, "I shall not speak them." "Good." Ciel plopped from his bed and placed his empty cup on top of the cart next to it. "I think I would like grilled cheese with tomatoes for lunch." As he headed toward the door, his butler took the gesture of opening it from him. The door opened, and standing in front of it were MeyRin, Finny, Baldroy, and Tanaka. Ciel knew what was coming. His eye twitched at the look of their faces with their wide smiles. "Don't…" "Happy Birthday, Master!" They screamed at their top of their lungs. Ciel was severally irritated. He didn't want to be reminded that this was the day he was blessed to be born on. The painful acknowledgement that three years ago on this day, his life changed. Ciel rubbed his temples and walked down the hallway. "I told you, I would not speak it, my lord," Sebastian stated, "I didn't say they wouldn't." "Oh shut up, Sebastian," he said, walking further and heading toward the study. Ciel's head was throbbing. He had nothing but work to do today and knowing that everyone will want to acknowledge this awful day made him want to curl up into a ball and disappear.

He walked into his study to see his parfait there waiting for him. He circled his desk to see that Sebastian had arranged more like a salad than a parfait and the icing was lined under it. It spelled happy birthday across the tray and had an unlit candle on top. He blew steam from his ears and took in a deep breath. _"I did say I wouldn't say it, master." _These words played over and over in his head. "Oh, shut up, Sebastian," the young one spoke, displaying a secret smile and swiping some icing, "I guess I should enjoy it since it is my birthday." He licked the icing from his finger and took a seat. He missed his parents. His mother had promised to read him all the stories he wanted, and instead, was granted a horrible fate. Ciel's eyes began to tear as he ate forkfuls of this delicious decoration. He just wanted someone to hold him, and tell him everything was alright. _"I can't help the way I feel," _he thought while pushing the empty tray to the side and placing papers in front of him, _"I was cursed from the second I was born." _

Sebastian completes his daily task, contemplating whether or not to bake the master a cake. "I know his feelings on this day," he says to himself, "But, I just want to make him happy." Sebastian grinned, and continues on his way. _"Look at me. A demon…in love with a human? I can't help but feel a little silly for it." _He walks past the library to see the other four Phantomhive servants, huddled and plotting a surprise party for the young birthday boy. "It has to be just as good as Lady Elizabeth's…" "Only better." They stood there, expressing their ideas to one another as Sebastian crept behind. "And just what are you doing in here?" he spoke to them as they turned around. MeyRin's voice was full of excitement. "We're planning a surprise party for the young master!" she expressed. "I don't think that is such a good idea," he said looking as their facial expressions change. "And why not?" "This is day is not the young master's happiest," he stated while walking out the room, "And surprises don't do him well. Especially when he has a gun on his hip."

Ciel struggled, trying his best to keep from exploding with emotion about this painful occasion. He couldn't stand but experience flashbacks of being scared from storms at night and his parents embracing him with warm arms and hearts as it roared through the night. Now, he was 13 and left to sleep alone; to endure in his own storms. Sebastian had come in, delivering his grilled cheese as he had asked, and saw how stressed the young one was. "You know, my lord," he spoke, while lowering the plate, "The paperwork _can _wait until tomorrow." Ciel's eyes began to tear up, for he couldn't hold back his frustration when the one who had been with him always was present. "No, it can't," he addressed, keeping his head toward the desk. Sebastian couldn't help but have the desire of taking his pain away. It hadn't been the first year that his demons had taken over, yet it seemed to be the calmest. "I must distract myself." His butler grinned a painful grin and bowed. He could do nothing to sooth the young one. "Yes, master," he spoke, turning to the door, "I shall finish my chores."

"No!" Ciel had pushed himself out of seat, his eyes overflowing with his hidden turmoil. He couldn't even smile toward him. He did not speak a word, for he had nothing to say toward this sudden outburst. "Please, Sebastian," Ciel spoke, his voice broken from heart ache, "Don't leave me. If my work can wait, so can yours." He was surprised. Where had this come from? Usually on this day, the Earl locks himself in his study or bedroom, alone until his birthday is completely over. "Young master…" Ciel wiped his eyes, looking to his desk. "These papers…they are not ones that are of the company business." Sebastian became confused; then what did he receive. "These are wishlist…" Ciel became quiet and clinched his fist as he slowly but surely began to breakdown. "This year, since there is a new product out for Christmas, their parents are telling them to write to Santa's workshop and ask for it. Every year, we give out one free toy to a child with the best 'dear Santa.'" His emotions coursed through him, his heart broken. "I'm so tired of reading them. These spoiled kids, not understanding how important the people are right in front of them. Begging and pleading for dolls and toys…" Sebastian stood his ground, trying his best not to show the young master how he felt. He held sympathy toward him, knowing that someday, this emptiness would consume him. "I just want my parents!" He dropped into his seat, his tears staining the pieces of paper below him. Sebastian walked toward him and stood next to his chair. And as he reached out his hand, wanting to caress his head, Ciel reached out and grabbed him, as if he was holding on to dear life. "I'm so alone, Sebastian…" Sebastian grinned, he had never seen him so vulnerable. He couldn't help but enjoy this warmth the young human displayed to him. He grabbed his chin, and directed it upward. "You are not alone, young master," he spoke, "I shall be by your side. Even after you've fallen, the rotten carcasses of your friends at your feet, and you're ready to admit a checkmate, I shall be there beside you, in the darkest pits of hell." Ciel smiled. No matter how dark or demoic the detail, it was pleasant to hear that someone would always be there. Ciel griped him tighter. _"A soul is such a minor detail," _the young master thought, _"If that is what I have to give up for my goal, then so be it. I shall find the people who have made me feel so innocent and rip their hearts through their chest." _

The snow fell and covered the ground. The sun had retired early because of the weather and so did the Earl. He had cried so much, he had but so little energy left. Sebastian sat on the floor, with the young one cuddled under him, feeling the warmth of his love. "Sebastian…" the young one called to him, "If you tell anyone, I shall kill you." The demon giggled. "Who shall I tell, young master?" he spoke to him, "I do not blame you for the way you feel. And as your butler, I am here to serve you." Ciel sniffled and smiled. "Shut up, Sebastian," he giggled as he stood. His butler followed him and got to his feet. "I want you to make me a cake," he demanded. His companion became surprised. "My lord, are you sure?" he asked. "Yes," he spoke, wiping his face, "It shall make the servants happy. But don't tell them it is an order." Sebastian bowed, "Yes, young master", and headed toward the door. "And one more thing," he spoke out, stopping him once more, "Say it." Sebastian smiled. _"Ciel…" _He turned toward his master, his cheeks red with excitement. "Are you sure?" "Say it before I change my mind." Even in his most vulnerable state, Ciel had not lost his roughness. The demon took in a deep breath. "Happy Birthday, young master…" Ciel smiled, hiding it from him. "Now, go." He bowed once more, and proceeded out the door. _"Yes," _the young one thought, taking a seat in his chair, _"Happy Birthday to me." _


	11. Author's Address (Not a chapter)

*Small authors note in between chapters*

Ok. Since I can't respond to your concerns about the description, I will just do it this way.

First off, I would like to say Thank You to all the continued followers who tune in to each chapter to see how the storyline plays out. I also appreciate all comments, whether good or bad, and thank you for your feedback. This is not intended for anyone who has no problem following the storyline and understanding thus far. This is only for the ones who need a little trouble understanding, being so far into the story. With that being said, I shall address the matter at hand.

The fanfiction is supposed to be one sided. I'm sorry if other fics go straight into sex or straight into the chemistry. I, on the other hand, don't. The description reads, "Ciel has no idea and goes through the day as USUAL". Meaning, since he has NO IDEA, you, as the reader, will have to wait to see how everything falls into place. I apologize if you have become impatient to see how long it will take for them to have sex or for him to finally look at Sebastian the way he looks at him. But I like teasing you. Some appreciate the fact that it is starting off with Sebastian and Ciel will catch up later on. Because as of where you are in the story, several things are apparent if you noticed:

One: Sebastian's craving for the human are becoming unbearable, as in description

Two: Ciel, who once didn't open up to Sebastian at all, is now slowly becoming comfortable with being open with him, which will obviously lead to something.

Three: Ciel is also still engaged to Elizabeth so at this point in time, any other romance he will not accustomed to. He has never had another love except Elizabeth and you will see later on, that he will battle with the thought of this being real love or something that was expected of him since they were to be married since he was young

And four: He is still a child. He does not catch wind of certain things until they become obvious. Yes, he is very smart in business. But after his parents' demise, he never had a personal life and still does not know certain social skills that you and I in present day may have.

So I repeat again. Things are going to look one sided for a while. Even when you actually get to the chapters where they are apparent (since everything is written ahead of time, and I wait a few days to post them), he will still have NO IDEA how to react to them. If I sound harsh or mean, I apologize. It's just I thought the description was apparent to waiting for him to react, yet there still seems to be some misunderstanding. So no, I'm not changing the description. Yes, I am still new to the site and even had some trouble with the labeling and pairing of the characters in the beginning, but even I would understand that there will be some waiting toward Ciel's character developing. I would still include that he will go about his day as usual and will probably have more concerns so I will leave as is. With the character pairings or groups below the description, once understanding what I was doing fully, there is a purpose for Ciel's name being in the middle. Not only because the three of them are in the fan fiction, but because with these two MAIN relationships going on, you will see how later in the chapters, Ciel's head becomes clouded with two main realizations about these two people. Other crap will go on but these will be the main two. Also, how ever long I write the chapters isn't due to the chemistry or chapter itself. Since I truly enjoy writing and this fan fiction is a new idea on my plate, I write until I feel the need to stop or look at the word count and say, "Holy shit, that's six pages. Let me sum this up a bit."

I hope this answered your concerns and I will post more of these if there is more needing of understanding. Hopefully, I didn't spoil future chapters but if I did, I apologize and hope you all will continue to read and follow to see how the two grow.

Thanks for support! Please Comment if needed.

**_Chapter 11 is coming SOON! _**


	12. This Warmth (Chapter 11)

This Warmth…

Weeks passed and the Phantomhive household is quiet. Young Ciel hops from his bed at four in the morning and opens his door quietly. His feet pitter patter down the hallway with excitement as he comes into his parents' room. His young faces displays a smile, as he quietly pushes his parent's bedroom door open. His anxiety takes over and he rushes to them, jumping on the bed. "Mother! Father! Wake up, it's Christmas!" He pounces a little more until he notices that they hadn't moved, not even to swat him away. "Mother?" he calls out again, "Father?" Ciel takes his small hand and slowly pulls back the comforter. Just then, a flame ignited from underneath and covered the bed in flames. Ciel mystically finds himself in the hallway, watching as his manor covers in the crimson heat and his parents, already being dead, were burned.

Ciel pops from his sleep, covered in sweat. _"Another nightmare," _he thought to himself while huddling up in his blanket, _"It's rather hard to get a good night sleep these days. Especially alone." _It was Christmas day and there was nothing planned. Elizabeth was staying in Germany for the holidays but would be back for the celebration of the New Year. He knew that his servants would be excited and would expect to have something thrown. But then again, maybe they wouldn't. They had been with him long enough, including Sebastian, to know that special occasions did not have the same meaning as they once did. Though all these holidays brought pain to him, he decided he would swallow his pride and put on a smile, at least in their presence. They had all been alone at one point as well, and this was home. He laid in his bed, pondering his thoughts. He'd not dare try and sleep again, the nightmares were too much for him. He wondered how he would hold up. But, it was one day, and it would be over soon.

Sebastian walked into the young master's room, seeing him already awake. "Ah, Good morning, young master," he spoke, walking to the window and opening the blinds. "What time is it?" The young Earl asked, being blinded by sunlight. "It's half past six, my lord," he answered, pouring his tea, "This morning, you have a gingerbread tea." _"Half past six?" _Ciel thought while taking a sip, _"It's rather early." _As Sebastian attempted to remove the young one's socks, he stopped him. "No, Sebastian," he stated as his butler looked up at him, "I want to stay in my pajamas today. Just hand me my throw and slippers." Sebastian smiled. "Yes, my young lord," he spoke while getting what was asked, "I did what was asked of me last night." "Do you think they saw it?" the young one asked as his throw was being wrapped around him. Suddenly, they heard screams coming from the lower floor. "I think they did," he said as Ciel put on his slippers and headed toward the noise.

He walked down the stairs, his butler behind him, and saw the four Phantomhive servants reacting to the giant Christmas tree that stood in the front, with gifts layered at the bottom. "Oh, master," Finny spoke, "We've never had a Christmas tree before. Thank you so much." Ciel took a seat and watched as they began to circle the tree. "I figured you would've enjoyed it," he implied. Soon, it got quiet as they all stared at him with childish eyes. "What are you waiting for?" he asked, "Go ahead. They're your presents." They shrieked with joy as they went through the gifts with their names on them. Sebastian stood watch as they ravaged through the wrapping paper, making a mess. "Sebastian," the young one called to him, "You have a present under there as well. I placed it there while you were sleeping." Sebastian's cheeks began to blush. _"A gift…for me? Oh Ciel…" _The young Earl watched as he walked around the tree, with hidden excitement in his eyes as he searched for his gift. Finally, he picked up a blue gift wrapped box with his name on the tag. He glanced to his young master as he sipped his tea. He carefully unwrapped his box and removed the lid. "Oh, young master…" The other servants stopped and looked at Sebastian who had been truly shocked. He took his fingers and carefully picks up a pair of new gloves, all made from the finest silk, lined with gold and his named stitched in the lining with red string. "I-I don't know what to say." "Say nothing," Ciel spoke, placing down his tea cup and looking at his loyal companion. "Look at those gloves, Sebastian," Baldroy commented, "Something fancy they are." Sebastian's faced became warm as he blushed harder. He had about 5 pairs of these specially made gloves. He slowly slipped off his plan white ones, and gently replaced him with his new ones, feeling around with his fingers. "How do they feel?" the young one asked. He turned to his master, and bowed down on one knee. "They are simply splendid, young master," he spoke, "Nothing can describe the gratitude I feel right now. Thank you." Tanaka, who had been normal for some time, walked over the young master and gave him a box. "Merry Christmas, young Earl." The others stopped again, smiling and staring at the young one. "Merry Christmas, master!" He grinned, but slowly, his depression began to take over. "I shall open it later," he said, placing the gift on his lap. Their eyes shifted to one another, and continued comparing gifts.

Ciel sat in his chair for a while with his gift in his lap as Sebastian served holiday treats and drinks to everyone. He had been doing alright as for his feelings and was rather proud of himself. They laughed and giggled and he sat in the corner and watched. Suddenly, his three servants got up and hugged him. It was a tight hug, compressing his chest with one of their hands. "W-What are you doing?" he spoke, "Let me go." "Thank you so much, young master," Finny spoke, "We had nothing before you. And you've given us the greatest thing of all…a family." It became hard for the young one to breathe so they let go. "Family…" he stated looking at his lap, "I have not known the word for some time now. And I don't think I will anytime soon." Their smiles disappeared as he looked up at them. He realized his demeanor of being a wet blanket was just bring down everyone's attitude. He smiled a nervous smile and slowly got up with his gift, headed up the steps. It was a little late now. They had spent all morning together, laughing and eating and sharing each other's company. He felt as if that was enough and was ready to be alone.

He crept in his study, not because someone was there but because he no longer had the energy to walk regularly. The young one was tired from all their excitement and just needed some time to rest. He sat in the chair behind his desk, and turned toward the window, watching the snow fall. It was a dazzling site, the way they danced in the air and giggled all the way to the ground, while the wind pushed them around, this way and that. Ciel looked down and carefully began to unwrap his gift. He had no idea what it was, didn't have a clue he was getting one. It isn't like he did what a normal kid did and dropped hints for this occasion. If he wanted something, he went and bought it himself; that's just the way things had been. The wood on the outside had begun to show as he uncovered it from the wrapping paper. He had grown a little anxious to see what it way; as a teen, he did enjoy a good gift. Finally, it was completely uncovered. It was an old picture, taken when the young Earl was a baby. He and Elizabeth were hugging each other in the front as his parents, and Madame Red stood behind them, smiling. He hadn't remembered this day, for it was so long ago. Under the frames, taped to the back, laid a piece of paper, almost like a note. Ciel opened it, and read it silently.

"_This photo was taken 12 years ago. I remember this day. You two had been playing as you always did and your parents loved it so much they wanted a picture. Your mother said, 'She wanted to preserve this image, that way, in her mind, you would always be this innocent.' I know things have been hard for you, young Ciel, but please remember…it's never too late to be an innocent child again…" _

Ciel's eyes began to water. He hadn't cried all day and sight of his loved ones again sent him over the edge. He hadn't even remembered being this happy. All those memories had been replaced by the ones of fire and despair. As the sky grew darker and Christmas day became night, Ciel watched and listened as the servants, including a now low-stamina Tanaka, had gone outside and began to play in the snow. Sebastian slowly walked into the young master's study. "I brought you some hot chocolate, my lord," he spoke while walking in and closing the door. Ciel remained silent as snow fell and imagined how it feels to be happy. The butler walked to his desk and placed down his cup. "Are they happy, Sebastian?" he asked, turning to him. "Ecstatic, my lord," he answered, "They loved it all." "Good." Sebastian smiled and looked as he blew over his hot beverage and took a hesitated sip. "Young master…"the butler called to him, "Can I give you your present now?" Ciel looked at him. "Not you too, Sebastian," he replied. "I have waited all year," he spoke with a small grin, "Will you allow me to give it to you?" Ciel took a deep breath. "Why not?" he spoke, taking another sip, slightly burning his tongue, "Christmas isn't over quite yet." "But my lord, this requires me to turn in my slip." Ciel's eyes widened as he placed down the cup. "Why, Sebastian? What did you give me?" "You said that you wouldn't deny me." "I said I wouldn't deny you, not that I wouldn't ask questions." Sebastian blushed while pulling out his slip that was given to him. Ciel hesitated, and then took it from him. "Ok," he spoke, "It's turned in. So what it is?"

Sebastian slowly takes off his gloves and places them on the desk top. He stoops down so that he may be on the same height level and takes off his eye patch. Ciel can't stop him; he said he wouldn't. In a way, he was afraid to ask him what he was doing. Sebastian places his hand on the young one's face; his hand warm from being near the fire, he didn't want his to touch to chill him. Sebastian slowly leans his face forward, getting inches away from the young master. "I have waited so long to show you how I have felt," he murmured to him, "It has eaten me alive to be so distant from you. And now, I shall give you your gift…" Sebastian pulls the teen closer toward him and kisses him. Ciel's eyes remain open. He's only ever been kissed like this twice. But they were different. They were from Lizzie. _"Sebastian…" _This warmth he felt throughout his body, he couldn't help but wonder why he waited so long. His cheeks blush as the warmth coursed through him. He didn't know how to react. Should he push him away?

This kiss had gone on for seconds now. Neither of them moved. Sebastian was finally putting all he felt into this one gesture of passion. Ciel remained still, constipating this action. _"It is the season of giving,"_ he thought to himself as Sebastian finally pulled away from him. Ciel's cheeks burst with scarlet as the demon leaned back. Sebastian backed away slowly, not getting up from his knees. "Well I…" Ciel slightly smiled. "I-I'm sorry," the butler spoke, "I've been holding it in for so long…" Ciel slowly got up and walked toward him. "It's ok," he spoke, getting closer, "It's my gift, and that's all it was." Sebastian smiled as Ciel got even closer. "And now, I shall return the favor." Ciel grabbed Sebastian's face and kissed him. Sebastian was in shock; he had basically forced himself to do this and he didn't expect to get a response. Sebastian closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around the teen as they embraced each other for the first time. Ciel had never felt this way. His heart began to beat faster as he tried his best to return the gesture the same way it was given. It felt as if he had been secretly waiting for this all along. He gripped Sebastian tightly as the passion continues. Their lips part; Ciel standing in front of the kneeling demon. Sebastian wouldn't let go. He took paced breaths, not believing that he could finally walk around without this weight on his shoulders. Ciel stayed still as well, confused on what this all means. _"H-How could he feel such a way for me?" _

They hear a loud crash from below them, followed by the sound of the other four returning into the manor. Sebastian let go and stands. Ciel, shyly backs away from the demon, and looked away from him. Sebastian smiled and coughed. "Well, young lord," he speaks while putting his gloves back on, "I must attend to the matter at hand." "Yes," the young one replied, embarrassingly, though it were only them in the room. The butler bows toward his master, heads to the door and exits. Ciel touches his lips with his fingertips, still confused. They were still warm from the hot chocolate and being touched by his companion. "W-What was that?" he said aloud. He knew it was a kiss but…what was this warm feeling he felt throughout his body? Why had he not experienced this before when Elizabeth had kissed him? Or when he kissed her? He loved her, but he didn't get this same feeling. It was almost as if something electrifying was going through his body.

Sebastian assisted with his master's bed routine, and switched him out of his clothes. As Ciel snuggled into his bed, Sebastian bowed toward him. "Goodnight, young master." "Wait, Sebastian…" He wanted to know why he felt like this. Why he wasn't upset for his butler embracing him. Why they had embraced each other at all. "I…" Sebastian stood there silently, wondering what he was to say. A part of him expected for him to be scowled and asked never to make a gesture like that again. "Stay with me while I sleep," he spoke, "Don't leave me tonight, just in case I have another nightmare." Ciel's face glowed as Sebastian smile slowly disappeared into a neutral look. _"Ciel…" _"Did I say something wrong?" the young asked. Sebastian looked away from him. "No, my young lord," he spoke as he placed down the candle, "I just wasn't expecting it." Without a word, Sebastian left the room. Ciel's heart began to ache. _"Why do I feel like this?" _he thought to himself as he laid his face in his hands, _"I'm so confused, Sebastian. Were you talking about me all along…?" _Suddenly, the butler returned in a change of clothes and extra linens. "Sebastian…" "You didn't expect me to sleep in my clothes, now did you, young master?" he spoke with a smile. Ciel blushed. "It's not a slumber party," he spoke as he laid down his head, "I don't want to fall out of my bed during the night if I toss and turn." Sebastian giggled, his cheeks blushing. "Of course, my lord," he stated as he laid down a mat for him to sleep on beside his master's bed. "I just wanted to be comfortable." Ciel secretly smiled. He couldn't help but feel this uplifting pleasure of having someone sleep in his room. But he was the Earl of Phantomhive, and now that Christmas was over, would go back to business. "Blow out the light, Sebastian," he demanded, "I need my rest." "Of course, my young lord," he spoke, while doing what was asked, "Goodnight." Sebastian got comfortable on the floor but couldn't stop smiling. His breathing had finally calmed down, but the warmth never escaped his body. _"Even with the way you feel, you refuse to change the way you are," _the demon thought to himself as he closed his eyes, _"But, now I can finally sleep peacefully without my nightly dreams of tearing you apart."_


	13. Don't Touch Him

"Don't touch him…"

The young Earl of Phantomhive is awaken by his butler as always on this morning. The blinds are opened, the tea poured, and garments changed. Nothing is out of the ordinary as of actions, but of atmosphere. The demon-and-master duo are relatively silent towards one another. Awkwardness fills the room as Sebastian executes daily requests. He presents the morning schedule and menu, yet the young one says nothing. He chooses just to listen, for he has nothing to say, other than the wonders that float through his mind. The gestures that were displayed days before still lingered in his mind. Yet, he had no words besides the question of why they happened. The thoughts that maybe the images of changing his clothes and seeing him naked had finally taken its toll on the demon butler and he had to have his hands touch his delicate skin.

They were scheduled to go into town today, to cut the ribbon for the new Funtom toy store that was to be opened in North Hampton. Once again, the young entrepreneur remained silent on the ride. Sebastian wondered what had been going through his mind. Had he been angry with him for touching lips with his own, making him experience the passion he had been holding in for so long? Was he not ready to feel such a way for someone? Sebastian also remained silent, in fear that when he spoke, everything would become unrivaled in the young one's mind. This ride had been a short one in distance, but long in uncomfortableness, as neither wanted to address the elephant in the room.

The young Earl arrived at the event, and after a promising speech from the company head, cut the red ribbon, introducing a new toy store placement for all to enjoy. As all cheered and wondered inside, Ciel glimpsed to his left, where he noticed Sebastian talking to a series of women. "Are you taken?" one woman asked, twirling her hair while getting too close into Sebastian's bubble. His cheeks began to glow as he tried to hide his embarrassment and remain professional. "I am here with my young master," he spoke, "For I am a mere butler." "A butler, you say?" spoke another, "I do need help around the house." The woman's hand began to explore the butler's body, starting from the top of his chest. "Why don't you come and work for me?" Ciel's eyes fumed as he watched these strangers caress his companion. _"Don't you touch him…" _"I saw him first!" The two woman begin to argue and slowly, a fight breaks out in the middle of the crowd. Sebastian creeps back toward his master's side, wishing he hadn't left it. "I apologize, my lord," he stated, standing in front of him, "I hadn't realized how much time the discussion would take up." Ciel tried his best to control himself, and turned away from the demon. "We're finished here," he said, walking toward the carriage, "Let's go back." His companion bows and agrees, following him.

Silence and anger fills the chariot as they make their way back to the manor. Though Ciel is infuriated with the stranger's display of affection toward his butler, he can't help but wonder why he cares. Finally, he broke the distance between them. "Did you like it?" he spoke, with his anger being obvious in his voice, "The way they touched you?" Sebastian looked toward his young master. "Honestly, no," he answered, "I'm not rather fond of being fondled by unknown women. Then again, I can't help their attraction to me." "Ah, I see…" Ciel interrupts, "Though you didn't like being touched by woman, you let them touch you." Ciel turns toward him; Sebastian notices his sarcasm. "Young lord…" he speaks, "Are you jealous?" The young one's cheeks begin to burn with this hated notice. "No, of course not," he states, turning away from the demon and looking out of the opening, "I just wanted to know. Actually, I don't give a shit about what you do." Sebastian's eyes widen; he had never heard such language come from the young one's mouth. He smiles, and faintly giggles, for he knows his hidden concern. With his realization, he becomes cocky. "If I might point out, my lord," he spoke as he turned and looked out the opening in his door, "I don't find pleasure in anyone's touch…except yours…" Ciel's faces reddens with his words. _"W-Why would you say that…?" _Ciel becomes confused with this warm feeling, as it fills his stomach. "Oh, shut up, Sebastian…"

Walking in his room, Ciel pushes his back against the door. His heart begins to race as this warmth travels downward. He wants to be touched; he longs to the demon's soft hands rub up and down his chest as the woman did his. He drops to the floor and tries to control himself. _"What is wrong?" _he thinks to himself, as he picks himself up and sits on his bed. A tingling sensation develops on Ciel's love muscle and he begins to paint uncontrollable. His desires are beginning to become out of control. _"Is this how Sebastian felt all this time?" _The room gets hot as his words circulate throughout his blood stream. _"I don't find pleasure in anyone's touch except yours…" _It had only been a few days after their embrace and it seemed as his emotions had taken him on a journey. He laid on his bed, relaxing his joints, pondering in his thoughts. _"Sebastian…" _

The butler walks up the stairs and presents the Earl with his evening tea. Ciel remains hesitant toward his servant, yet tries his best to hide it. Sebastian takes a moment to think while Ciel sips from his cup whether or not he should torture the young one a little more. _"It's only fair," _he thinks to himself, _"All the dreams I've had at night, having me watch the way the water scales down his body when he bathes. I think I've earned this fun." _Sebastian grins as Ciel looks up at him. He takes a hard swallow, and places down the cup. "What is it?" he asked. "Oh nothing, my lord," he answers while taking off his jacket, "It is rather hot, do you mind if I take open my shirt?" "Why not just smother the fire?" "Then, you shall be cold." Ciel takes in a deep breath as he begins to feel the warmth run through him again. "I-I suppose it is alright…" Sebastian carefully removes his gloves and places them in one the nightstand. Then, one by one, unsnapped the buttons on his shirt, stopping in the middle. "Thank you, my lord." Ciel looks up at him as he becomes aroused. His chest chiseled to perfection; the fire illuminating each curve and muscle that is displayed. _"Why is this happening to me?" _he thinks to himself, as he crosses his legs thinking this may hide his visitor, _"Lizzie…I need to think of Lizzie. But will that make it worse?" _Sebastian watches as the young Earl continuously shifts in his chair. Having enough of this amusement, he completes his shirt once more. "I must attend to the household chores," he stated while bowing toward him and backing out of the door, "If you'll excuse me."

The butler exits and Ciel releases his breath. His body is confusing him_. "Just a week ago, I could care less what this demon did toward me or anyone else. But with just one kiss or one embrace, everything changed. What would Elizabeth think when she comes to visit? What would anyone think?" _This jealousy, these feeling and cravings…they were all new to the young master. He slowly began to finish his lunch once again, and thought about a way to control it. "I must just keep them to myself until I get alone," he spoke to himself with a mouth full of garden salad, "I can't let Sebastian see me like this." He is the Earl of Phantomhive, son of Vincent; he had no time for these emotions. Elizabeth was the only one he had always allowed himself to feel this way around or for. Though they had known each other since they were very young, he had never looked at Elizabeth the way she had wanted him to. She made him happy in a sense but not a way where he was honored to marry her. Usually, the way he felt for her had been raised into him from the time they had told him that they were to be married. He had never had a choice. Even when he told her he loved her and kissed her a few months back, it was because he was jealous and wanted to make her happy; she had been labeled Ciel's betrothed for so long, he would murder anyone who tried to take her away from him, for that was what was taught and expected of him. "I will learn to love her," he spoke while standing and walking to the window. The ground reflected the sun's light with nature's white mirror. "These feelings are childish and will not be looked upon as acceptable. So they will be pushed back for as long as possible until they disappear completely."


	14. Fireworks

Fireworks

It is New Year's Eve and Elizabeth has arrived to celebrate this special day while watching the fireworks. She steps her delicate foot from the carriage, and once it touches ground, almost dashes to Ciel. She jumps to him, barely knocking him down with her embrace. "Oh, Ciel~…" Her voice filled with bliss with him in her arms. "I've missed you so much." Tears start to run down her face as she lets go of him. "Are you crying already?" he asked, giggling. She smiled back. "Don't laugh at me," she spoke as she began to giggle, "I am very happy to see you, that's all." Ciel took his thumb and wiped her tears. "Come," he spoke as she put her hand in his, "Let's go relax for a while." She blushed. "Alright."

Ciel guided Lady Elizabeth into the manor as Sebastian watched from over them. He would want nothing but to have the master and his fiancée have a wondrous night. He guided her up the stairs and brought her to the study where they enjoyed fresh brewed tea. "So, how was the boat ride?" he asked as he sipped from his cup. "Oh, just dreadful," she spoke as her squeaky voice dropped hints of displeasure, "The boat rocked back and forth so awfully and made me sick the whole way." "That's what boats do, Elizabeth. They sway with the waves." She looked at the table as he placed down his cup. "I know that," she commented, "But there was a storm and it made the rocks so horrible. I couldn't stand it." "Well, you're on dry land now." She smiled and took his hand from across the table. "Ciel, what shall we do today?" she asked. "Well, since it'll be too crowded to go into town, we can't go and see the firework performances." She frowned. "Oh please, Ciel. I've waited all year…" "And that's why," he interrupted, "They are having them in front of the new Funtom toy store, where we can see it just fine from here." Her smile lit up the room. She nearly jumped over the table. "Oh, thank you, Ciel!" She puts her knees in her chair, reaching over while grabbing his face and kissing him. Her lips are warm and soft, with the scent of the blueberry tea she had just consumed. Ciel felt this; this warm compassion from her, yet it did not feel the same. When Sebastian had embraced him, it electrified him. He wanted more and didn't know why, yet didn't want to find out.

Elizabeth let his face go, and sits back down. "Ciel…why didn't you kiss me back?" she asked. He just stared into her deep green eyes. "Is something wrong?" How could he tell her? That her lips weren't the ones he craved for? "Nothing," he stated, putting on a fake smile, "I was just surprised, that's all." She smiled again; she believed him. "I'm sorry," she spoke while getting out of her seat, "Shall we try again?" Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "Young master, may I come in?" It was Sebastian. Ciel's heart begins to race. He couldn't let him see him like this. But like what? She knew nothing; in her eyes, everything was the same. He took in a deep breath and tried to relax. "Yes, come in." Sebastian opens the door as Ciel rises from his seat. "I apologize, my lord," the butler spoke, while bowing before them, "I just wanted to know your preference for dessert this evening." "I don't care," the young Earl replied as he turned toward Elizabeth, "Whatever you decide is fine." Elizabeth stayed there smiling. "What is it?" "Nothing," she said, getting closer toward him, "I'm waiting on my kiss." Ciel glanced behind him and saw that Sebastian was still there. He grinned. "Of course." Ciel caressed her face as he eased in and kissed her. Sebastian smiled, and walked out of the room. _"I can't stand you kissing someone else, even if it is Lady Elizabeth." _The young Earl lips stay connected to her. As he pulls away, he smiles. He's made her happy, yet he feels nothing. Nothing had felt the same; how did he know he truly loved her? She opens her eyes and blushes. "Oh Ciel~…" she speaks with satisfaction, "I love kissing you now." Ciel continued to smile, though the feeling she displayed for him were not given back.

The sun disappeared, and the darker the sky had gotten, the more anxious Elizabeth and the servants were beginning to get. They had all eaten and all was left was dessert which they had decided to wait until after the fireworks. "Come on, Ciel," Elizabeth called out to him, running through the front door. They had all gotten on their winter gear and gathered outside, for it was 11:50 and the display was about to begin. Ciel, hesitantly, walked outside and joined the others. They all stood at the bottom of the stairs, where the carriages pulled in front of the door so that they didn't have the top of the porch blocking their view. "I truly don't understand the deal about fireworks," he spoke as he stood next to her. "They are just simply amazing," she began to explained, "They fly into the air and explode into dazzling colors, making shapes and sometimes words. It's so magical. We should kiss right in the middle of it." Ciel took a hard swallow. It made things awkward for him when Elizabeth wanted to kiss him all the time now, and he didn't feel anything from it. No warmth coursed through his body or arousal. It was just a soft kiss that was so empty, it could mean anything.

The fireworks begin to fly in the air as everyone stood there with excitement. "Oh, they're starting, Ciel," Elizabeth spoke while taking a hold of his hand, "Aren't they amazing?" "I guess so," he answered. She turned toward him as they continued to burst and elude into different colors. "Let's kiss now, Ciel." He looked at her. "What is with you and kissing?" he asked. "It's a special moment. Wouldn't you like to have your first kiss with me in the New Year?" she countered. He pondered. "Okay, Lizzie," he said, holding both her hands, "But no more after this. It won't make it special unless we treasure it." "Oh, but I do, Ciel. I love them," she spoke as she looked in his eye, "I love you, Ciel." His heart started to beat. He didn't want to disappoint her. If he was supposed to learn to love her, then he would do anything. "I love you…" Just before he speaks her name, he glances and sees Sebastian standing in the doorway of the manor. He couldn't help but have his hands become sweaty. Those feelings he got with Sebastian only came when he was near, no matter how many times he kissed Elizabeth and told her he loved her. "Sebastian…"

"Sebastian?" Lizzie stared at him for a while. "Why did you call me Sebastian?" His heart dropped in the pit of his stomach. _"Did I just call her Sebastian? Out loud?" _His mind begins to race. Quickly, he finds a backup. "Oh…No, Lizzie," he stuttered, hoping this would work, "I forgot to tell you I told Sebastian to make us a cake…" She looks at him for a while. "Are you sure?" she asked again, while the fireworks masks the content of their conversation, "I could've sworn I heard you say you loved Sebastian." "Oh no," he fibbed, "I said, 'I loved you too' and then meant to say that Sebastian is making us a cake. You see? He's right there." Ciel points to the doorway and he was gone. "Wh…" "Never mind the cake, Ciel," Elizabeth interrupted, "Kiss me." Ciel sighs. He could've swore he saw him at the door. He, once again, combines his lips with his betrothed. She pulls back and looks to the sky. "This is a lovely night." "Yes," he spoke looking up as well as she held his hand, "It is a happy night."

Since it had become too late to send Lady Elizabeth home, the young Earl had her set up in one of the guest rooms for the night when the fireworks display ended, having her parents come and fetch her in the morning. Sebastian runs the young one water for a late bath. His emotions had been tearing him apart and it became exhausting. As Ciel walked into the bathroom, Sebastian stood from checking the temperature. "Your bath is ready, young master," his butler declared as Ciel took off his shoes. Sebastian reaches out his hand to help the young master undress. "No, Sebastian," he interrupts. Sebastian's eyes widen. "Is there something wrong?" he asked. "I...I can do it by myself on this night," he spoke while taking off his eye patch. Sebastian remains puzzled. "What would you have me do, my lord?" he asks again. "Just…stand outside the door and leave the candle." The butler looks at him in his mix matched eyes. He hadn't never been asked such a request. "Did…did I do something wrong, my lord?" "No…" Ciel looks away from him. He can't stand lying to someone who had been racing in his mind. He just thought that the idea of Sebastian seeing him naked would make it worse. "I just want to be alone while I take my bath," he stated, "That includes taking my clothes off on my own." Sebastian takes a swallow. What had he done? It seemed as if the more his emotions had been changing, the more the affected his actions. "…That's an order." He cannot disobey him. Sebastian takes the towel and lays it gently on top of the toilet. He bows toward his master, and begins to exit. "Just wait outside until I'm finished, then you can hand me my night clothes through the door." Sebastian displayed a fake smile and opens the door. "As you wish, my young lord."


	15. The Butler's Laugh

The Butler's Laughs

At dawn, Ciel's aunt brought a chariot to deliver Elizabeth back home. She was too tired to walk on her own, so Sebastian carried her out. "Thank you, Sebastian," his aunt spoke as he lowered her on the cushion. Ciel stepped out onto the porch rubbing his eyes. His aunt walked up to him and hugged him tight. "Thank you so much, Ciel," she spoke as she let him go, "Whatever you're doing, it's making my Lizzie happy." Ciel blushed as she walked down the steps. She entered the carriage, the door was closed, and they were off. Sebastian stood next to his master and watched as they rode down the dull lit path. "It seems that we aren't the only ones who have noticed Milady's happiness," the butler proclaimed with a smile. The young Earl yawned, and walked back into the manor. "Shall I prepare breakfast, my lord?" he asked. Ciel heads up the stairs. "Not quite," he answers, continuing his journey, "I'm not awake yet." Sebastian grinned as his back disappeared down the hallway. He proceeded into kitchen and began to prepare for the day ahead. His desires for the young one had calmed themselves since he had assumed that he wasn't interested. His heart didn't ache though; he had already prepared himself to be rejected from his love. _"A demon…a butler at that, in love with an Earl?" _he thought to himself while he washed the fruit, _"It's a fantasy. Nothing more. No need in feeling pity for myself."_

The young Earl strolls into his bed room and closes the door. _"Seems like we aren't the only ones who have noticed Milady's happiness…" _These words linger in his mind. "Yes, it's obvious now," he says to himself while removing his rob, "It seems as if her happiness is the only thing that matters." He can't help but to feel a little robbed; as if the way he feels no longer is important. Sebastian stands next to him while people have fun and they keep their feelings to themselves. "I wish he would've never kissed me. But what that have made anything better?" He slid his back against the door and sat on the floor. _"How would Sebastian feel…holding something in like that? How did he feel?" _Ciel continued to fluster in these thoughts. His love for Elizabeth was raised into him, yet these feelings for Sebastian were new. He hadn't been taught how to handle them. _"What about last night? When I called Elizabeth…? Did I mean it? Did I mean to say that I loved Sebastian?" _He placed his hands on his head; these feelings confused him. He had no idea what to label them, whether or not they could be called love. His heart beat became irregular. He couldn't take this all at once.

Sebastian continues to dice the fruit for the master's fruit salad. His mind is solely focused on the preparation of the master's breakfast and the completion of the daily chores. Suddenly, he hears the pitter patter of feet behind him. He turns to see young Ciel, standing in the doorway. "Young ma…" "Don't look at me!" Sebastian stares at him for a minute. His words begin to sink in and he turns back toward the food. Ciel walks behind him and wraps his hand around him. "I don't want you to say a word," he spoke while his grip became tighter, "I don't want you to see me in this stature." Sebastian remains shocked, staying still as small arms around his waist begin to adjust. "I don't know these feelings," the young one states, "I don't know how love feels. To love someone on my own. I thought I loved Elizabeth. She has always been there and she is my future wife. Yet, that's what has been drilled into me. I know nothing but those feelings of empty love, one filled with priority." His voice begins to break apart, the sadness and frustration is becoming apparent. "Yet…when you kissed me…" Sebastian's eyes widen as the story goes on and he listens. "This warmth went through my body. I can't help but feel it. Kissing Lizzie isn't the same compared to touching you. Telling Lizzie that I loved her is what has been expected of me." His grip tightens; it becomes uncomfortable for Sebastian to stand still, yet he follows orders and does not attempt to look at his master, though he longs to hold him. "Yet when it came time to, I became a coward. It wasn't her name I spoke to her last night. It was yours….I love you, Sebastian…" The butler drops the knife in his hand on the counter. He has always wished to hear those words. Ciel's tears stain his vest as he loosens his arms and let him go. "I needed to tell you. When I leave, you may turn around." He remained silent. "This moment never happened. I just needed to get it off my chest." Ciel slowly turns and exits the kitchen.

When Sebastian thinks it is safe, he lets out a deep breath. It was so hard to hear him break down and do nothing about it. _"I used to love someone…but that was a long time ago…" _The demon remains motionless, trying his best to accept this all at once. Before, he couldn't keep these feelings to himself. Yet, now that it has become too much for the young one to handle, his desires have reemerged. _"Finally, I can breathe easily again, knowing that he feels the same." _He smiles, and slowly, begins to laugh. His laughter fills the hallways and wakes up the other servants. Tears of joy travel down his cheeks; he had never felt such bliss. He begins to calm his breathing as Finny, Mey Rin, Baldo and Tanaka enter the kitchen. "Is something wrong, Sebastian?" Baldo asks while the other rub their eyes. The butler looks at them with a huge smile on his face. "No, nothing wrong," he answers, "You all should get dressed. It's time to get up." They sigh and walk back to their rooms. The butler continues the master's breakfast as his words dance in his thoughts. _"It was your name I spoke. I love you Sebastian…" _


	16. Chill To The Bone

Chill to the bone

The first weeks of the new year have certainly been hectic ones for the Phantomhive estate. So many meetings and paperwork being pushed to ensure that the new year brings lots of revenue for the Funtom toy company. It had been a week since the scene in the kitchen and as demanded, Sebastian pretended it never happened and acted normal. Now that there was no need in hiding his feelings toward the young one, he smiled an easy smile and continued throughout his day. On this day, young Ciel Phantomhive and his demon butler would split up to cover more basis. Sebastian to go and smell the new scents for the Funtom perfume line while the head went to talk with one of the company managers about work conditions. "Are you sure I shouldn't go with you, my lord?" his butler asked, while putting his coat on his back. "Yes, it's fine," he reassured him, "I won't be in town long. I'll just meet you here in the manor." Sebastian smiled as the young one turned to him. He couldn't help but constantly feel those small arms wrapped around his waist. He stared into his deep blue eye, thinking of his ever longed words. _"I love you, Sebastian…" _Ciel noticed his lingering and began to blush. "What are you looking at?" He turned away from him, opening the door. "Nothing, my lord," he spoke while the young Earl walked in front of him out of his bedroom, "Just keeping a fresh picture in my head just in case something were to happen." Ciel continued down the hallway. "That's not funny."

His butler closed the doors to his carriage and off he was into the town of London. The ride was a bumpy one, for there was snow coming down, making it hard to see ahead for any rocks or obstacles. The young Earl sat in his coach alone, wishing he had asked his companion to come along. _"I'm not used to being alone on these rides,"_ he thought to himself, _"I miss his smile, his charm, the wits he displays on end, not matter the subject." _He watch the scenery pass him by while thinking of the one he longed for. Even though he had begun to accept these feelings, he had this pit in the middle of his throat. He had swallowed his pride, not allowing himself to become that vulnerable again, long enough to be embraced. He wondered if there were a way where he could be himself and change to love the demon at the same time. He couldn't handle two sets amount of emotions, let alone being two people. "I must try and maintain my image," he spoke to himself, "No matter the circumstance."

The ride had become even more unpleasant as the weather became harsher, not letting up once they arrived into the town. The young Earl stepped out of his carriage and was greeted by the factory manager. "Good afternoon, Lord Phantomhive," he spoke while approaching him, "I hope your ride was durable." "It was surprisingly domestic, due to the weather," he answered. "Then, I shall try my best and have this meeting brief, for there is a storm approaching." A harsh wind brushed past the young Earl as he stepped into the factory.

Inexpertly, today's meeting was longer than usual, with all the complaints about current conditions and forms for changes being put into effect. As they progressed to the manor, the weather became even harsher, as the snow and wind made it impossible to see the path ahead of them. "I didn't know it would get this bad," Ciel spoke to himself as he watched the weather dance outside his window. Suddenly, there was a large shake in the carriage, causing it to lose balance and capsize. Ciel bounced from his seat to the ceiling, back down again as the carriage rolled constantly. Finally, it stopped. The horse broke free from its bondage and ran through the woods. The driver had been thrown from the carriage as it began to turn and hit the ground several feet away, knocking him unconscious. With the coach still intact but upside down, Ciel struggled to crawl from it and look out beyond him. Reaching the snow surface below him, he stood and took a look around him. His head bloody from an injury, his wrist fractured; standing in the blizzard in excruciating pain. He squinted his eye, trying his best to make out where he was, but the snow that was blowing wildly made visuals hard to determine. His hands became numb from the cold, his skin chilled to the bone. He looked down at the white covered ground thinking of his options. "I'll have to stay in the carriage until help comes. It's too dangerous in this weather to travel."

Getting back on his knees and crawling into the opening, He tried his best to make himself settled at least until the storm let up. He shivered and shook, with the weather becoming unbearable. "This is hopeless," he spoke to himself while rubbing his wrist, "I'm going to die here in the snow." Being on the roof of the coach made things very difficult to manage with, as the material was thin and he felt the freezing snow below him. His head began to throb, and the sky dark. It seemed like hours as he watched the snow mock his situation outside. Ciel tried his best to bundle but with little material to work with, he was only entertaining a mere hope for salvation. The sky grew darker and the storm grew worse. The young one's head injury began to take effect while he waited to be rescued. He began to call Sebastian's name, hoping that he would find him. But after few failed attempts of reaching the demon, he gave up. _"S-S-So cold…" _His body heat was dropping and his headache set in. His eyes became heavy and he struggled to stay awake. The young one huddled in the corner, hoping that it would provide some relief. His condition becomes worse and as he fights his body for control, visions of his raven haired desire flashed in his mind. The way he held him, the way his lips felt; all the things he wished for so much. Why did he deny him? Because he was a noble? He deserved happiness and it seemed like Sebastian gave him just that. His fight for consciousness was being lost, and slowly, he drifts into silence. Before completely succumbing, the young Ciel parts his lips one more time, in hope that his butler would hear. _"Sebastian…"_

Ciel awakens in his bed, with a fire blazing and a bandage on his head and hand. His wrist had been placed back into proper position and he was slowly experiencing the effect. He slowly but surely tries his best to push himself up but the pain from his head injury takes over. "You shouldn't move, young master," spoke a voice. Ciel turns to see Sebastian ringing out a hand towel in hot water. "You have a pretty large gash on your head. It should be a few days before the headaches will stop." Ciel looks toward his fireplace and watches the flames. "I-Is this real?" he asks. Sebastian walks to him with a cup of hot herbal tea. "Shall I pinch you, young master?" "Ciel grins and accepts his tea. "No. I believe this is very real." Sebastian walks back into the corner to prepare his bandages as Ciel's grin becomes larger. He loved the sight of his raven haired savor. "Your horse had the carriage run over a bolder and keel over, throwing the driver. You should have called me sooner. Maybe it was a good idea to go along with you, seeing you always get into trouble…" "I did call…" Sebastian stops, feeling terrible he did not hear his master's beckon. He walks to his side with the medicine soaked bandage. "I apologize then, my lord," he spoke while attempting to change his head covering, "I was so caught in my task, I did not hear you. I wanted the new product to be perfect." Ciel flinches and groans as his butler cleans and redresses his wound. After it being completed, Sebastian stayed close to his master, staring into his purple and blue eyes. "I…I have finished, young master…" Ciel's face begins to bloom as a chill is sent through his body. "I-I'm cold." Sebastian smiles, stepping away from his master and heading to the fireplace. "Shall I produce more wood to the fire?" Ciel's heart began to beat faster and he closed his eyes and pictured how close they were. What it would've felt like to have his soft lips rock him to sleep. "Young master?" He remains in a daze for a moment, then turns to his butler. "N-No, that's alright," he answers, "I just want to sleep." Sebastian bows toward him and picks up the candle stick. "Then, I shall leave you to bed." The butler blows out the candle leaving only the fireplace to aluminate the light in the room. "Sebastian…" The young lord calls to him as he begins gathering the bandages. "…Sleep with me…" Sebastian stops, shocked as his request, his back remained turned away from him. "I don't think the fireplace will give me enough heat. I'd like you to lay in bed with me." Sebastian faces him, as a familiar warmth courses his body. "S-Sir…that is just the head injury talking…" "No," the young one countered, "It's an order." The warmth reaches Sebastian's waist as he hears the demand in his love's voice. His heart skips a beat as he retrains himself from pouncing and embracing the young master. He slowly smiles and bows toward him. "As you wish, my young lord." One by one, Sebastian removes his gloves, jacket and vest. His shoes and shirt are last to go; as he slowly climbs into bed with the young Earl.

Ciel's heart is racing while he watches Sebastian carry out his order. His butler moves closer toward him as he turns on his side and wraps his arms around him. Sebastian holds back his arousal as he snuggles and becomes very close to the young one. Ciel's voice crackle from embarrassment and nervousness. _"Goodnight, S-Sebastian…" _The demon shutters, hearing his name whispered from his young desire. He longs to turn him over and kiss his soft lips, sharing the warmth and lust that coursed through him. He takes in a deep breath and closes his eyes. His urges reaching its high as he feels his master's heart beat up close, knowing that he feels the same. "Goodnight, young master…"


	17. Indirect Agreement

Indirect Agreement

The storm rolled through the night as Sebastian and Ciel shared body heat. The butler awakens to the sound of wind howling past the window pane. He looks below him to see the young one sleeping peacefully. He hadn't tossed, turned or even made a movement all night, so he assumed that him being there made him comfortable. It was the most proficient sleep the demon had experienced as well. No night sweats or sex driven dreams, for his love slept right next to him. He pondered on whether or not he should rise and start the day while his master slept, yet was concerned that once his presence became absent, he would awaken. Sebastian took in a deep breath and laid back down, draping his arm around the sleeping teen. "Why not?" he whispered to himself while getting comfortable, "I have never gotten the chance to sleep in or enjoy my nightly rest. I shall enjoy this."

The storm continued and the fire dimmed, yet Sebastian's heat ridden body provided Ciel with a blanket of warmth. The young one slowly awakens and struggles to rise. He notices that Sebastian was still next to him, his heat projected through his comforter. _"I've never been so close to him," _he thought to himself, _"I actually enjoy this." _He smiled and moved his coal colored hair from the front of his face. He took his index finger and gently poked the demon's face, waking him slightly. "Are you awake already, young master?" the butler asked, opening his eyes and sitting up. Ciel let his eyes trickle down his ripped chest, which was giving off his warmth yet no longer under the covers. Ciel swallowed gently. "Yes, just now," he spoke, "My head bandage may need to be changed." Sebastian takes his hand and slightly pushes his hair from the way. "Yes, you may be right," he spoke while turning the other way and prolonging the progression of getting out of his bed. "Is something wrong?" Ciel asked, watching Sebastian inch toward the edge of his bed. "No, my lord," he spoke, turning toward him, "If I must say, that was the best sleep I've had since I've been by your side." Ciel blushed. "M-Maybe it was my mattress." Sebastian grinned and got out of the young one's bed. "Yes…" he said while picking up one of the medicine soaked bandages from the end table. "It must have been the mattress and linins." Ciel smiled while the demon's back was turned, admiring his sharpened shoulders. _"So strong…" _

The butler walks to his master and proceeds to change his head covering. Ciel watches his lips as they barely move along with his hands. He admired the way they had been shaped to match his face. How easy it was to kiss them by them being inches away. Yet, his pride choked him. It was too much of a leap to lean in and embrace him again. Before it was different; it was a holiday. Yet now, all occasions were over and the only thing progressing was the storm beyond them. As Sebastian uncovered the young one's head wound, the strong aroma of his blood swept into his nose. His urges for the human started to become uneasy and he was unable to focus on his tasks. Ciel watched as Sebastian's eyes shifted and glowed as he placed the bandage on his lap and leaned backward. "What's wrong?" Ciel asks, watching as he sat on the floor and shivered. "N-Nothing, my lord," he answered looking toward him. His eyes burned a fiery red as his nails dug into the carpet. "I-I just can't control myself. Your blood smells so sweet…" The demon took deep breaths as Ciel stood and came toward him. Sebastian tired his best to back away further. "P-Please, don't come any closer, young master. My urges for you are uncontrollable at the moment." Ciel stooped down in front of his companion and touched his knees. "I'm not scared of you," he spoke as Sebastian looked away from him, "It wasn't like this last night." "Oh, yes it was, my lord," he reassured, "I had to wear a mask for most of the time carrying you here and wrapping you wound. Even changing it last night, it seemed impossible to contain." Ciel placed his hands on his butler's, hoping this would ease him. Sebastian took in deep breaths, trying to push back his cravings. "What makes them so bad?" the young asked. The demon looked in his eyes as he noticed his chilled touch. "…Tell me." As his butler, he had tried his best to hide his motives and resist the urge to go after him. But now, as the dried blood filled his nostrils, he was unable to conceal his content. Sebastian looked to his lap as he continued to shiver and shake. "I-I can't explain it…" Ciel took his chin in hand and lifted it toward him. "Try."

It felt almost as if the demon had been cornered. As if he had no other choice. No matter what, Sebastian resisted his request. "I-I'm fine, young master," he spoke as he stood, "No need for you to be worried." Ciel got to his feet and began to stumble. "Young master…" Sebastian caught him in his arms, holding him close despite his current state. "Why won't you tell me?" the young one murmured as Sebastian sat him on the edge of his bed. He took deep breaths as he continued the duty of cleaning and dressing his injury. He smiled as he finished and looked at him. "Because, my lord," he stated, "I was told to pretend it never happened." Ciel's eyes widened. His heart began to race as he remembered his confession in the kitchen that day.

Sebastian begins to relax and sits next to the young one. "Oh…that?" he asked, looking to the floor. "No, my lord," Sebastian commented, "Not just that." Ciel looked at him as he took a breath and grinned. "These feelings are so overwhelming, that it is physically making me sick and less of a butler. I can't help but want to devour you when you have an open wound because I am resisting to do everything else." Ciel's cheeks turned red as the butler walked to the fireplace and stroked it, trying to rejuvenate the heat in his room. The young Earl stayed there at the edge of his bed, thinking of his companion's words, thinking of bringing down the barrier that stood in between them. "Sebastian…" he called out to him. His butler sharply turned at his beckoning. "You shouldn't keep things like that buried within, especially if they are making you sick. I understand how you are feeling right now." "You do?" His voice was in a sarcastic sort of tone, thinking that he hadn't truly understood. "Yes," Ciel began to explain, "Since that day you embraced me, my chest aches with confusion and uncertainty. Whether or not how I feel for Elizabeth is real or if it was expected of me." Sebastian begins to ease closer to the bed. He is rather surprised that the young Earl has decided to open up about his emotional conflicts, though it was told that it would not be discussed.

Sebastian walked over to the edge of his bed as Ciel played with his thumbs. "What shall we do about these feelings that we are burden to hold onto, young master?" the butler asked, longing to hold him as when he was asleep. Ciel smiles and looks at the demon. "I can't hold on to this much longer either," he spoke, "At least, not alone." The butler eases toward him, placing his hand on his. "You are not alone, young master," he reassured, "I shall not leave your side." Ciel's eyes begin to water. They were truly alone. No servants, no meetings, no paperwork….no Elizabeth. It had only been the two of them, separated from the rest of the world by nothing but a wooden door. Though no matter how alone he felt with him, his pride would not allow to indulge in such mockery to the Phantomhive name. "Sebastian…" His voice broken by the release of his heart ache. How badly he wanted to love him; to feel his soft touch again as someone more than a butler. But what of Elizabeth? The demon smiled, grabbing a hold of his chin and slowly eases in. He feels this pain. Yet, they had both accepted that this was what they must do to keep his name from the gutters until he reached his goal. Their lips became inches apart. Only breath separated them from combining, yet neither of them moved any closer. The young one's tears ran down the demon's hand as they closed their eyes. The butler's lips slowly part, speaking words while breathing on the young Earl's soft rose petals, as a way to kiss him in his own way. "I am here, my young lord…"


	18. I Deserve To Be Happy'

I deserve to be happy

A few days passed by and the snow began to settle. Ciel no longer went out alone after getting his horse replaced, not like Sebastian would let him anyway. Since they non-verbally agreed that hiding their feelings was for the best, the butler and his master had decided to make little passes in the hallway and throughout the day, just to let each other know that the feeling was still there.  
The young Earl sat at the head of his table as he enjoyed his breakfast. Mey Rin, Tanaka, Baldroy and Finny had all been trying to catch the manor's latest infestation of tiny critters. Sebastian was just about to assist them when the young one stopped him. "Let them have their exercise," he spoke, "Besides, we have shooting practice later." His butler smiled. He gently placed his hand on his master's shoulder and gave him a slight squeeze. Ciel grinned secretly, as his butler let go. "I shall ready the targets, my lord," he spoke while bowing and walking away. Ciel's grin remained slightly as he finished his food. _"I miss you too, Sebastian…" _His heart fluttered with the idea of Sebastian's thoughts about him. Their love would never be forgiven if found, but with their feelings out toward each other, it felt better to embrace it in some way.

Meeting Sebastian in the backyard, Ciel prepares his hunting rifle. "We should go hunting one day, my lord," the butler spoke, readying the first plate. "Maybe one day when you're older." Sebastian giggles as Ciel aimed to the sky. "I'm ready." Sebastian turns his wrist, and with one movement, chucks the disc into the beyond. The young Earl aims and fires, hearing the glass shatter on impact. Sebastian shivers at the sight of the young one and a gun; being able to pull a trigger without hesitation. He continues to throw the dishes into the air and his master continued to make them explode with his silver bullets. _"So full of pride yet so weak at the same time…I love it all." _They had been out there for hours, almost as if they had been taking a day off. After Sebastian gave another dish flight, a sudden burst to buzzing came from nowhere as a red chainsaw sliced through it. Landing on the ground instead of the shards, stood Grell Stucliff, the reaper who had brutally murdered his Aunt Anne. Though the circumstance was unknown to any of the others, Ciel kept the bitter feeling of hatred toward him. "Well hello, Bassy," he spoke while he swung his death sickle around on the tip of his finger. "Oh," Sebastian spoke with disgust, "It's you, Grell." The red haired being walked closer to the butler. "Was that plate you tossed for me?" he asked while putting his sickle away, "It seemed like you knew I was coming and wanted to hit me on purpose." His sexual antics never left his voice, no matter the conversation. "I shall assure you," Sebastian stated while Ciel placed down the rifle, "If I wanted to hurt you, I would definitely aim with deadlier than just a saucer." "Oh, Bassy~" he spoke while he shuck and licked his lips, "Please don't say things like that. You know how I get about imagery." Sebastian's stomach turns as the thought of this was making him sick. "What do you want, Grell?" the young Earl spoke. He was filled with memories of his deceased aunt and didn't appreciate him hitting on his secret crush. "Oh, calm down," he spoke looking at him, "It's not your time just yet. There was soul in the area I needed to collect and I wanted to see whether or not Bassy would invite me to dinner…" "No thank you," Sebastian answered, "I don't know where you've been." Grell became upset upon his thoughts of being called a prostitute. "That's not nice! I'm way prettier and just what kind of woman do you take me for?" Ciel rolled his eyes and he turned toward the manor. "Are we done for the day, Master?" Ciel continued to walk away. His mind couldn't handle this constant flirty, though nothing of that nature came from his mouth.

Ciel retired to his room and changed his clothes. He had been outside and hadn't planned to enjoy the evening tea in the same clothing. He paced back and forth while trying to remove his clothes. His blood was oozing with hate and frustration. He could always ask Sebastian to kill him. Yet, he knew his companion would get hurt in the process. _"I can't stand the blood he sheds…" _Ciel slowly sat on his bed, and placed his hand on his head. He could hear Grell shriek while Sebastian threw dishes at him to get him away from the manor. _"I guess he got tired of being molested." _The young Earl smiled. He thought about how cute Sebastian's face would look while Grell made his passes. "Is it such a bad thing to love him?" the young one spoke aloud, "If my happiness matters, why should I suppress it?" He laid back in his bed with his feet dangling over the side. _"The Phantomhive name and image is very important to me…" _he thought to himself. Though the history of his family and what it took to get where they were remains in that back of his mind, he was tired of holding it all in. They had both agreed that this would be best, but what if no one knew? If their romance stayed to themselves until he was ready to release it? Ciel smiled as he took in a deep breath. _"I love Sebastian…and I have a right to be happy…"_

Sebastian came up to the young lord's bedroom after he had noticed he hadn't rung for the evening tea. "Young master, is everything alright?" Ciel had fallen asleep in the position on his bed where he had been thinking. The butler smiled and walked toward him. "You're so simple, young master," he whispered, sitting on the bed next to him and leaning directly over him. "Young master…" The young one's eyes opened and he smiled. "Have I slept long?" he asked. "I'm unsure. You have been rather quiet for a while." "I've been thinking…" "Oh?" The butler had remained hovering over the young master, enjoying the way his calm skin on his face showed his exhaustion. "About what?" Ciel's slightly lifts forward, and kisses the demon passionately. Sebastian closes his eyes as he lets the young one take the lead in this gesture. He had been holding back for a while and thought it was only far but to let him have his chance. Ciel slowly lays back down and smiles. "That…I was thinking about that," he speaks calmly. Sebastian's cheeks bloom as he removes his eye patch. "It seems like a very random thought," he commented, "Especially for someone who doesn't want to ruin his family name." Ciel lifts completely and Sebastian moves away. He looks down at his lap, contemplating his decision. "I won't ruin the Phantomhive name if no one knows," he stated, "I deserve to be happy and I am choosing to become happy." Sebastian giggled slightly. "This does not sound like you, my lord," he spoke looking at him, "Did I do something to influence this decision?" "No. I made it on my own." Sebastian takes a hold of Ciel's chin and pulls him closer. "Well, it is a wondrous decision, my lord," he spoke as he begins to feel a warm sensation flow though his body. Ciel feels it, too, but his pride is too much to embrace it. "Shall I say, my lord, I can tell you are a beginner." Ciel snatched his face away. "Was it bad?" he asked while his face lit up. "No, my lord," the butler spoke, moving closer toward him, "I can just tell. There is nothing to be ashamed of." Ciel looks toward his love, with full eyes. "H-How do I learn to get better?" Sebastian grabbed a hold of his face again and pulls him closer. "I shall teach you." Sebastian softly kissed the young teen; his lips soft and trembling from his touch. He could tell that his body craved to be embraced by him. Sebastian slowly lowers him down to the bed, and unbuttons his shirt. "Se-Sebastian…" "Shhh, my lord. I shall not do anything drastic. It is just to calm you down." Sebastian kisses him again, entering his tongue slowly into the younger one's mouth, caressing the other with gentle strokes. He places his hand on his chest and slides to his side, pulling him closer and holding him tighter. Ciel's body twitches with his touch. His mouth is warm with passion, wanting more of this feeling all over him.

That night, they cuddled in bed. Finally, it was a chance for them to be together without the other holding back. Sebastian takes his naked hand and caresses the young one's arm, hoping to relax him a little. Ciel remained tense, but because of the urges that were coming over his body. Their lips kiss and a warmth goes throughout his length, sometimes rising without his control. He wanted more than just a kiss._ "S-Sebastian…" _The demon's tongue rubs against the walls of his mouth. His arms hold him tightly against his chest, not letting him go. The young Earl had waited for this moment for so long, yet he was nervous. Sebastian pulls back from him and kisses his forehead. "Are you sure this is what you want, young master?" he asked. Ciel nuzzles his forehead under the butler's chin, getting comfortable and beginning to drift to sleep. "Yes," he spoke softly, "I want to be happy."


End file.
